


For Real

by mxjoyride



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anal Sex, Breathplay, Burnplay, Burns, Choking, Cigarettes, Face Slapping, M/M, Male Slash, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Strangulation, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:24:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxjoyride/pseuds/mxjoyride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth Rollins finds a kindred spirit in Dean Ambrose, who helps him indulge his favorite fantasies and grapple with his demons. Begins after The Shield's debut match at TLC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean felt his heart jump just a little bit when he saw Seth fall into that table, but he was too amped up on match adrenaline to think about it too much. As the referee finished counting three, he felt the intensity of their surprise, disappointment, and hatred wash over him, and he knew he had done his job. He headed back up the ramp. When he saw Seth at the top, he immediately looked for anything obviously wrong, but all he saw was that familiar look of bliss in Seth's eyes. He had nothing to worry about. The three of them headed toward the back.

"Man, you alright?" Roman said to Seth, a look of concern on his face. "That was one crazy-ass bump."

"Yeah man. I'm fine. That was was fucking amazing. Who gets to debut like that? Fucking awesome."

Roman still looked concerned. "You should probably go get yourself checked out anyway, dude. You don't know how you'll feel once all the adrenaline wears off, you know?"

"Yeah, just go to the trainer now. They're gonna make you get checked out anyway. You know how they are about concussions," Dean said.

"Fine, whatever, I'll do it. I'll see you guys in the back," Seth walked away toward the trainer's room.

As Dean and Roman walked toward the locker room, Dean thought about that look of bliss he saw on Seth's face. Dean had known a lot of pain junkies in the business, but never one quite like Seth. He kind of envied him in a way. To Dean, the pain was just a necessary evil – something he had to deal with to do what he loved. What got Dean going was getting a reaction. Nothing in the world felt better than connecting with a crowd and getting them to do whatever he wanted. When he got in the zone, it was like he could feel every little thing they felt. The pain was necessary to give the crowd what they needed, but when he felt sore and broken at the end of the day, after the rush of the crowd was gone, he wondered sometimes if it was really worth it. He knew Seth didn't really have that problem. He was able to take all the pain and turn it into something else entirely.

Dean realized he was pacing around the locker room. He sat down and tried to look at his email on his phone, but he quickly noticed he wasn't actually reading anything. Why did he feel nervous? Yes, it had been a little while since Seth went to the trainer – Dean had already showered and changed and Seth still wasn't back – but really, why did he feel so fucking nervous? He couldn't figure it out. Okay, maybe he was a little worried – Seth looked fine, hell, even more than fine afterward, but you never know – and, okay, he'd admit it, it might have been selfish, too. Honestly, ever since he found out they'd booked this match, he thought about what might happen tonight. He thought about what happened before, and he thought about just how much more intense this match was going to be – their WWE debut, T L motherfucking C, all that shit, and really, it was kind of hard not to imagine all the possibilities, and kind of hard not to be just a little bit disappointed that maybe it wouldn't pan out. Did that make him a selfish asshole? Maybe. At this point he just kind of hoped that everyone else in the locker room didn't think he was acting like a fucking weirdo, with all the pacing and shit.

Seth walked in, looking, well, pretty fucking normal, and Dean felt a little less nervous. Dean waited for Seth to walk over.

"So, what's the deal? What'd they say?"

"They cleared me for Raw tomorrow – they couldn't find anything wrong with me. They acted like it was a fucking miracle or something, but whatever. They did all of that, like, concussion screening shit, and it took fucking forever because I guess they couldn't believe it, but it's cool. Like I said, I'm fine. I didn't need a fucking trainer to tell me that."

"You sure? You think I should take you back to the hotel now?"

"Well, I'm fine, but I guess it wouldn't hurt. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to me or anything." Seth laughed, and Dean thought he knew why.

\--

Seth stepped into the hotel shower and slid the door closed. He inhaled the steam deeply and enjoyed the relief of the hot water on his muscles, though the water also stung a few cuts he didn't realize he had. He really hadn't noticed any soreness at all until he'd felt the relief of the shower, not that it surprised him. His whole body still buzzed with all of the adrenaline and endorphins from the match, and he knew it would still be a while before he came down. He picked up the soap and lathered up, trying to focus on the sensations coursing through his body. Some of them he liked, and some of them he didn't. Basically, at this point, he felt high as a kite, euphoric almost, but also tense and a little shaky, too. And, of course, as soon as he touched his cock he felt it practically spring to life, begging for attention. He ignored it, for now, and started to rinse himself off. It was more fun that way.

Before long, Seth heard the shower door open behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw Dean get in and shut the door. "Guess he couldn't wait," Seth thought. Seth noticed that Dean was already hard, but that wasn't really what got his attention. He looked up at Dean's eyes – they looked crazed and focused in a way that made fear well up in Seth's body. The fresh adrenaline mixed deliciously with everything else buzzing through Seth. While Seth's body felt afraid, his mind knew better by now, but Seth did his best to shut it down for the moment. "This is it," he told himself. "This time it's for real."

Seth suddenly worried that Dean saw him staring. He turned his head away. Dean approached behind him, and soon Seth could feel Dean's breath on his ear. Dean wrapped his arms around Seth and brushed his hands up to rest on Seth's chest. Seth knew Dean could feel his pounding heart.

"That's right," Dean hissed into his ear, "You should be scared. You know what I'm going to do to you." Dean slowly ran his fingertips up the length of Seth's neck, then pressed a fingertip against Seth's lips. Reflexively, Seth took Dean's finger into his mouth. Dean laughed a little bit – that fucking cocky laugh – then pulled his finger out of Seth's mouth, then Dean reached between Seth's legs and found Seth's growing hardness. At Dean's touch, Seth felt waves of violet electricity pulse from his cock throughout his entire body – he knew they were violet, but he didn't know why. – and he heard a moan escape his own mouth.

Dean laughed again. "You're such a fucking slut. You're fucking scared shitless because you know what I'm going to do, but here you are, fucking hard, moaning like a fucking whore, when anyone with any fucking sense would've already run away from me by now. Turn around. I want to fucking see you."

Seth obeyed. He watched Dean look him up and down, almost scornfully, then his eyes settled on Seth's now rock-hard cock, and he laughed yet again. If Dean was trying to make Seth feel ashamed, it was starting to work, as Seth felt another layer joining the growing storm within him. Seth's head was swimming as Dean pushed Seth down onto his knees. Seth's lips parted and he felt himself start to salivate as he stared at Dean's cock. Dean grabbed Seth's head and slowly pushed his cock down Seth's throat until his whole length was inside. He knew just how to do it to avoid triggering Seth's gag reflex. Seth could breathe with Dean's cock down his throat but it wasn't easy. Dean held onto Seth's head and started slowly fucking his mouth, then Dean began to quicken his pace until Seth started to gag and retch, despite Seth's best efforts not to. Seth's eyes started to water. Dean kept going until Seth nearly vomited, then pushed Seth off him. As Seth struggled to catch his breath, Dean shut off the water and opened the shower door. Seth shivered as he adjusted to the temperature of the room. Suddenly, Dean pulled Seth up by his hair. Seth heard the blood rushing in his ears as he stood up.

"Come on," Dean barked. "Get out. Get on the fucking bed." Seth found his footing and stepped out of the shower. He swore he could see all the different colors of electricity coursing through his body. He tried to think of a way to describe how it felt – fucking exquisite was the only thing that came to mind. Seth walked toward the bed and, before he knew it, he felt Dean throw him onto bed, face down, bent over the edge of the bed. Seth heard a drawer opening and soon after he felt Dean spreading a generous amount of lube onto his ass. Seth shivered just a bit. Dean put his hand on Seth's upper back and pressed him down as he slowly entered him. After a few slow thrusts, Dean took his hand off Seth's back and pulled Seth by his chin up toward him, then slowly moved his hand down until he held Seth loosely around his neck. The sensation of Dean's hand around his neck drove Seth absolutely crazy, and when Dean thrust into him with his hand around his neck, he couldn't help but moan.

"You're fucking hilarious," Dean whispered. "This is all your fucking fault, you know."

Dean lowered Seth's head back down to the bed, but kept his hand around Seth's neck while he continued slowly fucking him. Dean tightened his grip around Seth's neck just a little bit, but in his mind, Seth felt Dean crushing his windpipe. Seth closed his eyes tightly and pressed his face into the bed. Tension built up inside him and he started to thrash, but it was no use. He felt sure that he had taken his last breath. Everything turned white. All of the tension in his body poured out of him and he was filled with peaceful euphoria. For a moment, he felt like he was floating out of his body, but he soon became aware of the sensation of Dean's other hand wrapped tightly around his cock. Seth felt his cock pulsing as he exploded onto Dean's hand. Once he was done, Dean waited a few moments before slowly let go, and out of the corner of his eye, Seth saw Dean bring that hand to his own mouth. After a little while, Seth felt Dean press his body hard against his, and Dean began furiously thrusting into him. It wasn't long before he heard Dean groan and felt Dean's cock pulse inside of him. Seth was overcome with a wave of exhaustion and soon fell asleep with Dean still inside of him.

\--

Seth woke up on his belly under the covers, and wondered how he got there. He noticed that his body finally felt sore. He turned onto his side and saw Dean sitting in the chair next to his bed, staring at his phone. As Seth stirred, Dean looked up at him, his eyes now filled with nothing but softness.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean stepped out onto the balcony, sliding the glass door shut behind him. He tried to be at least somewhat quiet and looked over his shoulder at Seth, who slept deeply. After their intense sex, he'd rolled his tough, twisted little partner into bed. He thought that Seth would've awakened but the dude was sleeping like the fucking dead, apparently. Dean felt a slight chill at that thought, both turned on and frightened by his own dark mind. Seth just lying there limp, lifeless ...

A shiver ran through Dean, both from the thoughts that invaded his psyche and after all, it was fucking cold outside. He dug his lighter from his pocket, lit the cigarette he was holding in a chilly, exposed hand, and took a long drag. His whole body seemed to sigh with sweet relief – it had been a couple of days but there was no way he didn't need a cigarette right now. He leaned against the railing and looked down at the fabulous view of the hotel parking lot. He thought about how many times he'd done this before – standing outside somewhere, always outside, on countless balconies, patios, porches, alleys, whatever, enjoying that post-sex cigarette. Hell, most of the time the cigarette was better than the sex itself. He'd been with a lot of people in his life, but once the thrill of anticipation wore off, things almost always became either boring or awkward, or both . . . at least until Seth.

Dean remembered when it all started with Seth, back in FCW. They never really crossed paths in the indies, and when they'd met in Florida, Dean felt a nearly-instant attraction. Dean wasn't sure, at first, why he was so immediately drawn to Seth. The guy was definitely hot. But a lot of guys in the business were hot, and this was the first time Dean ever really felt drawn to a fellow wrestler. Before then, the thought of fucking another who lived this life of wrestling like a religion – man or woman – felt almost incestuous. But there was something different about Seth, something Dean couldn't quite put his finger on.

The first time it happened was the night after their first match together. Before then and despite the attraction, Dean never really felt compelled to talk to Seth beyond business – he figured it would probably just end in frustration. Although Dean's attraction to Seth was always present, Dean could always keep it at a low simmer. He assumed he'd be able to keep it at the same level in the ring – it was still just work, right? – Wrong. It took most of his will to keep himself under some semblance of control. But Dean had to admit, his handicap became a tool as he was able to take all his craving and frustration and use it to make a great fucking match, and when it was over, he felt like he was on top of the world.

After the match, Seth invited Dean to go to some Thai restaurant with him out of the blue. It was a little weird as they'd never really hung out before, but Dean figured Seth wanted to go over the match. After all, they already knew it wasn't going to be their last one.

Seth ordered the hottest fucking thing on the menu – the Jungle Curry or something like that - the kind of thing that makes all the waitresses in the place look overly concerned when someone who's not Asian orders it. Seth just wolfed it down in record time without saying a word. Dean remembered just watching in amazement as Seth downed the curry, face red, sweat beading on his forehead, a weird look of bliss on his face. The whole thing was actually kind of hot. For the most part, they ate in silence – It seemed Seth's mind was somewhere else, and Dean wasn't exactly in the mood for conversation either. After that, Seth asked Dean to come to his apartment. He was suddenly insisting that Dean needed to try this new bourbon that he'd purchased – Angel's Envy or some intriguing name like that. Dean recalled that the name sounded like a love potion laced with wickedness. At Seth's invite, Dean thought, "Why not?"

They sat on Seth's shitty sofa – more of a loveseat, really – and drank pretty much in silence. Dean had to admit, it was pretty great bourbon, and he savored the warm sweetness of it. Seth, on the other hand, had already downed his first glass and had started in on another while staring off into space.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dean finally asked. "It's like you're in outer space or something."

Seth blinked a few times before he looked at Dean. "Yeah, man. I'm fine. Just still like, totally fucking flying after that match. You ever get like that?"

"Get like what?"

Seth finished the rest of his second drink, looking like he was deep in thought, before he responded. "You know, like, a lot of times when I have a match, like especially if it's just like really intense, I just get like all this electricity, all of these chemicals. Like endorphins or something. And it's all just like, buzzing, and I want more and more and more, and then like, every fucking bump, it just gets better. And sometimes, like when it gets really fucking good, when it's all over, I just can't come down. Like I just need more and I can't fucking relax."

"Can't say that really ever happens to me. I mean, I get kinda jacked up sometimes, off the crowd or whatever, but the shit that hurts still fucking hurts."

"Yeah, it's pretty – I don't know. I kinda love it. It's weird though. But tonight – whoa. Something about that match. It was crazy. You were just going apeshit, man. Like you just started like fucking scratching at me on the turnbuckle – I didn't even know you were going to do that."

Dean remembered that moment. They were both up on the turnbuckle, and Dean didn't know why, the whole match was driving him a little nuts, and it just popped into his head that he just wanted to scratch the shit out of Seth, and he couldn't help himself. He figured it worked though – he was kind of going crazy in the story of the match, too.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Just kind of getting into the story of the match, you know?"

"Oh no, don't be sorry. That was fucking amazing. You fucking marked me up good, though. Check it out."

Seth took his shirt off and turned his back to Dean. Dean saw that Seth's back was covered with red scratch marks, some of which looked like they'd been bleeding. Dean felt his cock stir as he took in the sight, remembering the feeling of his nails digging into Seth's back, and especially now that he knew that Seth got at least some kind of enjoyment out of it. Dean noticed that the air in the room felt heavier to him all of a sudden, and he could hear Seth breathing deeply. He couldn't help but touch the marks on Seth's back, the memory of making them growing more intense, and as he did, an unfamiliar feeling entered his consciousness – this incredible, deep, gnawing, begging desire, down to the bones, different than the one he knew - and he knew it wasn't his but Seth's. Dean breathed it in. Seth looked over his shoulder toward Dean, his eyes half-closed, and spoke, just barely loud enough for Dean to hear.

"Fucking destroy me," he said.

With that, Dean threw Seth onto the floor. As those words echoed in Dean's mind, he stood up and looked down at Seth, on his back looking up at Dean. Dean felt like he was absolutely on fire – he couldn't remember ever having seen anything hotter than what he saw right then. There Seth lay, silently begging Dean to do God knows what to him, his cock apparently trying desperately to fight its way out of his jeans. Seth's desire was still palpable to Dean, and as he undressed, he imagined all the other nights Seth must have spent feeling just like this – endless sleepless nights, all sorts of degrading anonymous sex, loving all of it. That beautiful, twisted motherfucker. Dean wanted to make him squirm.

Dean rubbed his bare foot against Seth's still-trapped cock, and Seth moaned – almost like a whimper. Dean found himself chuckling at this – just two hours ago he'd been certain that Seth would just be another endless source of frustration for him, and now he had Seth fucking whimpering at the mere touch of his foot. For a split second, he thought he might have made a mistake in laughing, but the laughing just seemed to turn Seth on more. It seemed right now that second thoughts were getting Dean nowhere, and impulses were getting him everywhere.

"So, this is what you do?" Dean said, nudging Seth's cock with his foot. "You get yourself all fucking hard getting the shit kicked out of you in the ring, like the little fucking painslut you are?" Dean set his foot down on Seth's cock and applied just enough pressure to let Seth know what he could do if he wanted to.

"Do you have any idea what you just asked me for? You really must be a crazy fucking painslut, fucking insane, asking me something like that. Fucking begging me. Fucking whimpering. You know what I can do to you."

Dean took his foot off Seth's cock, walked to his head, and put his foot on Seth's mouth. Seth almost immediately started dutifully sucking on Dean's toes. It felt surprisingly good, like there was suddenly a direct connection between Dean's toes and his cock. But Dean thought he knew what Seth might like better. He pulled his toes out of Seth's mouth, placed his foot over Seth's nose and mouth, and smothered Seth with his foot for a few seconds. Dean swore he could feel an electric charge through Seth as he did it, and when he lifted his foot, Seth let out a little moan, like he didn't want Dean to stop.

"That's right. I could kill you with my fucking foot if I wanted to. And you'd fucking love it, wouldn't you?" Dean smothered Seth with his foot a few more times, each time holding his foot down just a little while longer before letting go, each time with another disappointed moan from Seth. Those moans were driving Dean crazy.

"Get on your fucking knees," Dean growled, and Seth obeyed. Dean saw Seth's eyes grow a little bit wider as he stared at Dean's cock. Dean grabbed onto Seth's head and slowly pushed his cock through Seth's lips until the eager warmth of Seth's mouth enveloped Dean's entire length deliciously. Dean took a moment to enjoy the gorgeous sight of Seth below. He had taken all of Dean's cock so effortlessly that his skill made Dean start to imagine all of the other cocks that Seth must have sucked before his. Maybe it wasn't true, but Dean loved the idea of Seth being some kind of insatiable cocksucker. Dean started to slowly thrust in and out of Seth's mouth, pausing each time he was fully inside, taking time to enjoy the incredible sensation. After a little while, Dean started to quicken his pace, pushing harder and harder into Seth's sweet little throat. He couldn't get enough of it. But he soon realized that if he fucked Seth's mouth much longer, he'd cum before he had a chance to get into that round little ass of his.

Dean pulled Seth to his feet by his hair and took the rest of his clothes off him, finally revealing what little of Seth's body had been left to Dean's imagination. It certainly did not disappoint. Dean came up behind Seth and gave his finally-freed cock a couple of teasing strokes, eliciting a few lovely almost-pitiful-sounding moans from Seth.

"Show me where your fucking bed is," Dean hissed into Seth's ear. When they reached Seth's bedroom, Dean pushed Seth face down onto the bed. Dean took a lucky guess and opened the top drawer of the nightstand to find a bottle of lube and some condoms. He opened one of the condoms and unrolled it over his cock, then squeezed out a generous amount of lube onto his hand. He rubbed the lube onto Seth's waiting hole before teasing it with a couple of fingers. Soon, Dean slowly plunged his cock into Seth's ass and began thrusting slowly. He almost couldn't believe just how wonderful it felt. He grabbed Seth around his neck loosely and pushed his head up toward him.

"You like how my hand feels on that delicate fucking neck of yours?" Dean whispered, tightening his grip slightly. "Is that what you want? You want me to fucking crush it?" Dean lowered Seth's head back down to the bed. He kept one hand around Seth's neck and wrapped the other around his cock and started stroking it as he continued slowly fucking him.

"You know they're going to find you like this, with my cum dripping out of your ass. They're going to know what a crazy fucking slut you are. They're going to know it was all your fault. That you begged for it. That you needed it."

As Dean continued, he felt Seth start to thrash beneath him and start to moan louder and louder as his hips started bucking into Dean's fist. Dean stroked Seth faster and faster until he heard a huge, primal noise well out of him – he didn't know whether he should call it a groan or a cry. Dean felt Seth's whole body shake as Seth's cock shot cum all over Dean's fist. Dean held onto Seth's cock for a moment before releasing it and bringing his hand to his mouth, savoring Seth's taste as he pumped furiously into Seth. It wasn't long until Dean felt the waves of his own orgasm come over him as he pulsed into Seth before collapsing on top of him.

\--

Dean tossed the remains of his cigarette over the railing and onto the parking lot below. He walked back into the hotel room and sat down in the chair next to the bed. He looked over and saw that Seth was still asleep. Dean smiled. That beautiful, twisted motherfucker.


	3. Chapter 3

Seth dreamed of an immense heat filling his body. He felt into flow into each of his cells individually, and he felt it slowly bring each one to a boil. With that, he felt every fiber of his being vibrate faster and faster, in tune with some primal song he couldn't name. He knew it was dangerous, but it was irresistible. Sure enough, the vibration grew so strong that soon, the heat engulfed each of his cells in flames, like a thousand lashes from a thousand fallen angels. Slowly, his body melted below him into a rainbow of candle wax drippings, leaving behind only a violet cloud of pure energy, his true essence, anchored only by what was left of his body. After the fire consumed it, he'd burst forth and float far above the earth - an explosion of nerves and energy with no boundaries. The fire's destruction felt absolutely exquisite. He watched the rainbow pool around him and knew that he would soon be free. He'd never wanted anything more. It was so close. But just as the fire was to consume the last of him, just as his essence was ready to explode into the cosmos, a familiar sound filled his consciousness and shoved him back into his body – his real body, heavy with the ache of reality.

That fucking iPhone marimba noise. Seriously, right now? As Seth returned to reality, he was burning hot, filled with heat, rage, and craving. Most loudly protesting this turn of events was Seth's almost-painfully hard cock, which had cruelly been denied the release the dream promised. Seth threw the blankets off himself, sat up, and growled with frustration. The noise stopped. The light came on. 4:30 a.m. 4:30 fucking a.m.

Seth looked to his side and saw Dean looking back at him with a groggy mix of confusion, concern, and amusement. "What're you so pissed off about already?" he asked.

"I was having this fucking dream, this fucking crazy dream, and like, it was almost over, I think, like five, ten minutes, that's all I needed, but that fucking alarm, man. And now, like I have time for this shit. I hate these fucking early-ass flights sometimes."

"Five minutes?" Dean laughed. "No way you'll go five minutes right now."

"What?" Seth said. He wasn't confused long. Before Seth knew it, Dean had Seth's cock in his mouth, taking nearly the whole length of it, moving up and down with fierce determination all while teasing the sensitive head with his tongue. Holy shit, it felt amazing. Seth knew Dean was right – he wasn't going to be long. He closed his eyes tightly and worked to bring his mind back to his interrupted dream, and soon that fire engulfed him again, and he desperately craved its destruction. Quickly, Seth felt the last remnants of his body burn away, and the energy that remained exploded into his surroundings – a complete, perfect release. Seth cried out with delight. He became vaguely aware of his actual body again and felt what seemed to be that entire universal energy burst out of his cock and into Dean, and Seth swore he could feel it coursing through both of them. As Seth's bodily awareness returned, he felt Dean on top of him now, and heard his voice.

"I think that was three minutes," he said. "Must've been a hell of a dream."

With that, Dean kissed Seth hard, and Seth could taste himself in Dean's mouth. Seth's tongue probed Dean's mouth deeply, desperate to taste all of himself he could, feeling so wonderfully filthy. He felt Dean's hard cock pressing against him. After a little while, Dean pulled away, looking smug, and sat on Seth's chest. Now, with every breath Seth felt like he had to struggle to overcome Dean's weight to take in enough air – a slow, crushing feeling that Seth enjoyed. Seth stared at Dean's hard cock, so fucking perfect, now right in front of Seth's face, and Seth longed to take it deep into his throat, though there was no way he could do that in his current position. Seth reached for Dean's cock, wanting it any way he could get it, and a wicked grin crossed Dean's face.

"No, put your hands at your sides," Dean said. As soon as Seth complied, Dean rested his feet on Seth's wrists and held them down. "Don't move." Dean started stroking his own cock furiously, his face filled with intense bliss and determination. Seth's initially disappointment faded, and he thought it felt pretty amazing to have this beautiful show all to himself, feeling so completely crushed and restrained. He watched Dean's orgasm overtake him as his cum pulsed all over Seth's face. Seth eagerly licked up what he could reach with his tongue. Dean lay on top of Seth, licked up what Seth couldn't reach, and hungrily kissed Seth again. It felt so deliciously disgusting – Seth swore he felt himself already starting to get hard again.

Dean pulled away, got off the bed, and stood up. "Come on," he said. "If I keep this going, we're never going to make that fucking flight." Dean started going through his suitcase, probably looking for his clothes. Seth tried to remember where the hell he put his suitcase.

"So what were you dreaming about, anyway?" Dean asked. "I've never seen you like that in the morning. Not that I mind."

"Oh, I don't know." Seth struggled to try to find the right words. "Like I was on fire. Literally on fucking fire. And it was burning my body away, but leaving behind this energy. It was purple, I remember that. I have no idea why. But it was, like, my energy, or something, and once my body burned away, it would just like explode into the universe and vibrate with everything, and I'd be free. Pretty fucking weird, right?"

"No, that's fucking poetic." Dean said. "That's what I'm trying to do."


	4. Chapter 4

Dean looked over at Seth in the seat next to him on the airplane. Seth was asleep with his head against the window, looking oddly peaceful and innocent. Dean laughed to himself at the thought. Thank God that wasn't true. Dean's mind flashed back to that morning, remembering Seth's face so beautifully contorted with orgasm. He used to wonder if that would ever get old, but now, at least, it didn't seem that way. The more he had of Seth, the more he wanted. But it wasn't really all that long ago when he thought he might never have him again. Dean thought back to when he first realized that might not be true.

It was after midnight then. Dean couldn't sleep – what else was new? – so he sat up watching God knows what on TV and playing yet another half-assed game of Tetris on his phone. Just as he was about to lose, a text popped up on the screen – from Seth. "Are you up?" it said.

Dean smiled. It had been about a month at that point since that night after their first match, and they hadn't really talked much since. Dean would have preferred otherwise, but Seth seemed decidedly distant. Dean figured it would be best not to push his luck. Not that he didn't always seem to catch Seth looking at him or anything. But he got the feeling that Seth would come around when he was ready. And maybe this was it.

"Yeah. What's up?" Dean texted back.

"Want to come over?" Seth replied.

Dean smiled again. Well, no sense in being coy this late at night. "On my way," he replied. He threw on the nearest t-shirt and jeans and got in the car.

That Deftones song "Change (In the House of Flies)" started playing on the radio as Dean headed over. It seemed oddly appropriate. Sinister. Dean sang along.

 

_I watched you change_   
_Into a fly_   
_I looked away_   
_You were on fire_

_I watched a change in you_   
_It's like you never had wings_   
_And you feel so alive_   
_I've watched you change_

Seth opened the door wearing only a pair of gym shorts and holding a glass of whiskey. Seth's shorts were low on his hips, and Dean found his eyes drawn to Seth's hipbones peeking out over the waistband. Holy shit, they were hot. Not that he didn't see that on a regular basis – Seth wrestled in far less than he was wearing now – but now there was no reason to suppress the reaction. The air in the room already felt heavy again, and Dean could feel that sneaking sense of Seth's desire creeping into him. Dean finally looked up and his eyes met Seth's. Seth smiled knowingly and took a sip of his whiskey.

"You want one of these?" Seth asked.

"Sure," Dean said, and followed Seth into the kitchen. Seth grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured Dean some whiskey from the bottle on the counter – that same bourbon from last time. Dean picked up the glass and downed the whole thing. Seth laughed.

"Well, it's too late to fuck around," Dean said.

Seth finished the rest of his drink and set it down on the counter. "I guess you're right," he said. He poured himself another drink, took a sip, and added, almost sheepishly, "Not that I haven't been."

"Huh?" Dean said. He could think of a few things Seth could mean, but he didn't feel like guessing.

Seth took a deep breath. "You're in my fucking head, man. Like you know shit maybe I don't want you to know, and I don't know how the fuck you figured it out. It kinda fucking scares me. So I don't know what to do. But I go and fuck anyone else now, and it's not enough anymore. And it used to be enough. I thought so anyway. And finally I'm just like, even, I'm with some other guy tonight, and I'm just like, fuck it, you know? Fuck it."

Dean stared at Seth for a moment, taking in what Seth said as the whiskey started to warm his mind and the obvious heat and desire in the room washed over both of them. "Well," Dean finally said, "I think you want me to know."

"Yeah," Seth said. "I guess I do."

The thought of Seth with someone else that very same night sent a thrill through Dean. What an insatiable fucking whore. What a beautiful, twisted, motherfucking insatiable whore. Dean grabbed Seth, pressed him against the refrigerator, and kissed him deeply, practically sucking all the air from Seth's lungs before pulling away.

"Does he know?" Dean growled.

"What?"

"That other guy you were with tonight. Does he know what a fucking whore you are?"

Dean kissed Seth again, probing Seth's mouth with his tongue.

"You sucked his cock, didn't you?"

"Yeah…"

"I thought so. I can taste that motherfucker."

Dean could. He swore he could. Who knew Seth was the kind of slut who wanted to get fucked with the taste of another man's cum still on his lips? He imagined it, but now he had proof it was real, and for some reason, it made Dean's cock ache something amazing. Dean kissed Seth yet again, then bit down on Seth's bottom lip until he noticed the faint taste of Seth's blood. Seth moaned and Dean threw him down onto the kitchen floor and stared at the beautiful little bead of blood that formed on Seth's lip. While Dean took off his own clothes as fast as he could, he eyed the knife block on the counter. He grabbed one of the steak knives and crouched over Seth.

"But you're right about one thing, asshole." Dean said. "You should be afraid of me. You should always be afraid of me."

Seth's eyes were wide. Dean pressed the tip of the steak knife lightly against Seth's lips. Seth took the knife into his mouth and sucked it like a cock. Dean had to admit, it was kind of beautiful to see. He watched Seth suck on the knife for a little while before slowly pulling it from his lips. Dean ran the knife slowly down Seth's torso, from his collarbone, down his chest, down that gorgeous stomach, and across right above the waistband of his shorts from one of those pretty little hipbones to the other. Seth held his breath until Dean lifted the knife. Dean laughed, then sat behind Seth's head, lifted Seth's head and chest, and held the knife to Seth's neck. Seth moaned again and Dean laughed.

"I think I forgot just how much of a fucking slut you are," Dean hissed into Seth's ear. "You know I could slit your fucking throat right now. You couldn't do anything about it." Dean reached down and stroked Seth's rock-hard cock through his shorts. Seth bit his lip hard, seemingly in an attempt to stifle his moans. Or maybe he just wanted the pain.

"Oh come on, you know I already know, you fucking freak," Dean continued. "You're sitting here getting fucking hard thinking about how I'm going to leave you here in a pool of your own blood, with your stomach full of some other motherfucker's cum. Someday they're all going to know what a ridiculous fucking crazy slut you are."

Dean let go of Seth and stood up. Seth flopped onto the kitchen floor.

"But I know that's not what you want right now," Dean said. "I know you. You want to fucking choke. So get on your fucking knees."

Seth made his way to his knees, looking dizzy, his lips parted. He looked up at Dean. Dean grabbed Seth's head and pushed his cock between Seth's waiting lips. Dean found no resistance as he pushed himself into Seth's throat. Dean thrust into Seth's mouth, but Seth's eager mouth and tongue felt so good that Dean soon found himself feeling like he was closer than he wanted to be. Dean stopped thrusting and pushed Seth's head against him hard, smothering Seth for just a moment before throwing him off him. Seth looked up at Dean expectantly, obviously wanting more.

"You really want to choke on my cock, don't you?" Dean growled as he grabbed Seth's head again, pushed his cock into Seth's mouth, and pressed Seth against him again before tossing him back onto the floor. Dean was ready to fuck Seth right there on the kitchen floor. He considered the bottle of olive oil on the counter next to the stove, but decided against it.

"Come on," Dean barked. "Get the fuck up."

Seth made his way unsteadily to his feet and followed Dean to the bedroom. Dean pulled Seth's shorts off him, and Seth seemed to brace himself to be bent over the bed.

"No," Dean said. "Get on your back. I want to fucking see you this time."

Seth turned around and Dean pushed him onto the bed. Dean took a moment to take in the sight – Seth on the edge of the bed, his legs in the air, his beautiful hard cock in all its glory – before he found the condoms and lube in Seth's nightstand and got both himself and Seth ready. Dean entered Seth slowly, watching the blissful mix of pain and pleasure on Seth's face as he went deeper inside and began thrusting. After a few thrusts, Dean guided Seth's hand to his cock and Seth started to stroke himself. Dean rested a hand on Seth's throat, and, with that, Seth's eyes started to roll up and flutter closed. Dean slapped Seth hard across the face with his other hand. Seth moaned loudly.

"Not yet," Dean growled. "Fucking look at me. You go when I let you."

Dean kept his eyes locked on Seth's as he thrust into him, one hand loosely wrapped around his neck, as he gradually moved faster and faster. Dean felt the tension grow in Seth's body beneath him as Seth stroked his cock faster with Dean's thrusts.

"Yeah, none of those other motherfuckers know what you really are, you crazy fucking whore. They don't know what you need. They don't know how much this pretty little neck of yours needs to be crushed for what you've done, do they?"

Dean tightened his grip slightly around his neck. Seth's eyes closed, but Dean didn't stop him this time. Seth started stroking himself furiously, and from the tension in Seth's body and his moans, Dean knew Seth was very close. Dean placed both of his hands around Seth's neck and squeezed just enough to constrict Seth's airway a bit. He whispered into Seth's ear.

"You can try to stay away, but no matter how hard you try, your last breath is always mine."

With that, Seth exploded with orgasm, a primal scream erupting seemingly from deep within him. Dean watched Seth's cock squirt cum all over Seth's fist and stomach as Dean continued thrusting into Seth. The sight brought Dean over the edge, and his own orgasm pulsed out of him and into Seth.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a depiction of dubiously consensual sex between minors.

Seth stared out the rental car window at the seemingly endless expanse of woods along the side of the road. It was around midnight and Dean was driving the both of them to the armpit of a town tomorrow's house show was in. The 90s rock station was blaring on the rental's satellite radio – right now it was "Cannonball" by The Breeders – and the combination of the woods and the 90s music brought Seth's mind back to Danny.

Seth felt like he was back in those woods, laying in the dirt, dizzy and drunk, Danny's taste lingering in his mouth. He felt the electricity flowing through him just like back then – broken branches of pink electricity like one of those plasma balls. Fucking infinite.

"You look like you're thinking about something good," Dean said.

Seth blinked a few times and slowly made his way back to reality. He looked over at Dean, who was smiling at him expectantly. "Yeah. Kind of. Yeah," Seth mumbled.

"Kind of?" Dean chuckled. Sometimes it was like that motherfucker could read his mind.

"Yeah, well, it's kind of weird, you know?"

"What about you isn't kind of weird?" Dean laughed and turned the radio down. "Besides, this is the most fucking boring drive ever. I could stand something interesting."

"Alright then." Seth closed his eyes and tried to figure out where to begin. "So where I grew up, there were like, all these fucking woods behind all the houses there, kind of like those over there. I never really went into them much, you know, I wasn't really into that. But like, okay, when I was like 12 or so, right at the beginning of the summer, these new people moved in next door. They had a son, a few years older than me, like 16 or something, his name was Danny. And like, shit, I don't know, but there was something about him, you know? I mean, I was fucking 12. I'd never felt like fucking anything for anyone. But I meet this Danny dude, and it's just like, fucking shit, you know? Whoa. All this shit, I didn't even fucking understand it. So it was just like, wow, I couldn't stop thinking about this dude. But like, what I felt was really weird. Like, I didn't sit around thinking about fucking him or whatever . It wasn't anything like, totally concrete. Not like it ever is for me, but you know."

"Oh, I don't know anything about that," Dean said sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," Seth laughed. Dean smiled back and Seth continued. "Yeah, so it was just like, all this weird shit. Weird, gnawing, consuming shit. I'd like lay on my bed and fucking bask in it. And if I was around him it was like even worse. Like whatever this shit was just kind of flowed out of him. He must've known. He had to know. Not like I ever actually talked to him or hung out with him. But yeah, so it just went on like that for a month or two, until the end of the summer. Then, like one day, out of the blue, I'm in my fucking driveway like, shooting hoops, we had one of those fucking basketball hoops over the garage, my parents are at work and shit, and Danny just like shows up.

And I remember he was holding this shopping bag. And he's like, 'Hey, want to see something cool?' or something like that. I don't even know. And he wants me to go in the woods. So I'm like, okay, whatever, and we get into the woods and he busts out this bottle of like, vodka or gin or something. It was like fucking plastic, so whatever it was, it was shitty. And he's like, oh, you should try this, or whatever. So I'm like, okay, and I try some and it's like so fucking awful, you know? I never had any booze before and this shit was terrible to begin with, I'm sure. But so he drinks some and he keeps offering me more and I keep drinking it. And eventually it just all fucking hits me and my head is spinning and I feel like I'm about to pass out and then like, I swear, it's just like all of a sudden his cock is in my mouth."

"All of a sudden?" Dean said.

"Yeah, seriously, that's what it felt like. And I'm like, shit. It felt so fucking right. Like, it finally hit me what I'd wanted all that time. Like some primal shit I just knew or something. But I had no fucking idea what to do next. I just like fucking froze. And eventually, like, I guess he gets fed up or whatever, and he just like grabs my head and starts fucking the shit out of my mouth. "

"Well, what was he expecting you to do? You were like, what, fucking 12?"

"I don't fucking know. But he just like fucks the shit out of my mouth, like I'm fucking gagging and he keeps going and I feel like I'm going to fucking throw up, and eventually he like, cums in my mouth, and the next thing I know, he's gone and I'm laying on the ground feeling just like, wow, I don't even know. Like fucking great. Fucking amazing. My head is spinning and I feel like I'm going to throw up but I just feel great, too. Like I'm in tune with just all this fucking electricity, like I'm part of this thing, I don't even know what it is. And I was just like laying there on the ground, probably for a couple of hours, dozing, waking up and just like swimming in all this electricity."

"What did he say to you later?"

"Nothing. I never talked to him again. I mean, I'd see him sometimes, but I never talked to him again."

"That's fucked up."

"Yeah…"

Dean stayed silent for a while before he finally spoke again. "So, I kind of want to find that motherfucker and kick his ass."

"Danny?"

"Yeah, fucking Danny."

"I guess I get that. But seriously, when he was done with me, I felt so fucking great."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, honestly, I never felt anything better than that in my life until you, you know?"

"I don't get you sometimes," Dean said. "But I love it."

Dean turned up the radio again and drove in silence for a little while. Seth stared out the window at the woods and wondered if they'd ever end. The electricity of his memory flowed through Seth and into all of his nerves, tingling pleasantly. Eventually, something in the moment – from Dean, he swore – seemed to ignite the electricity into an exploding force. Seth leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and reveled in it. Dean pulled the car over, turned the hazard lights on, and shut off the engine. Dean got out of the car, walked over to the passenger side, and opened the door.

"Let's take a walk," Dean said, his voice taking on a eerie calmness. The tone of Dean's voice stirred something in the pit of Seth's stomach, and when Seth's eyes met Dean's, he felt a shock of fear shoot into the storm within him. He tried to avoid smiling as he followed Dean into the woods.

Once the pitch black of the woods surrounded them, Dean pushed Seth to the ground and threw himself on top of him. Seth felt Dean's rock-hard cock pressing against his own.

"You really don't fucking learn, do you?" Dean snarled, his words vibrating into Seth's body. "You don't follow crazy motherfuckers like me into the woods in the middle of the fucking night. It doesn't end well."

Dean knelt beside Seth, unbuttoned Seth's jeans, and started to pull them down. Seth lifted his hips off the ground to help Dean along, which made Dean laugh that cocky fucking laugh of his while he freed Seth's aching cock from the confines of his jeans.

"Oh, you want this, you fucking whore?" Dean said as he sat behind Seth's head. He pulled Seth up roughly by his hair. Seth felt his head spinning. Dean wrapped one arm snugly around Seth's neck, and began to stroke Seth's cock with his other hand.

"Yeah, you do," Dean growled into Seth's ear. "You're such a little slut. But you always were, weren't you? You were born a fucking slut. You needed this shit before you even knew what it was."

Every stroke and every one of Dean's words resonated through Seth's body, and he felt as if sparks were flowing from every part of him, settling in his cock, and consolidating into a delicious tension that was set to explode out of him at any minute.

"That Danny motherfucker, he knew you were a whore. He could fucking see that. He could fucking feel that when he had your slutty little mouth around his cock. But he didn't know just how much of a crazy twisted little whore you are when he shoved his cock down your throat. When it finally dawned on him what you really need, that fucking coward couldn't take it."

Dean wrapped his arm even tighter around Seth's neck. Seth felt himself start to struggle to breathe, and it felt as if that constriction pressurized the tension inside him, making it that much more exquisitely urgent. "But let me tell you something. I'm not that asshole. I'm not a fucking coward. I'm not gonna stop until I squeeze every last bit out of you. Every breath. Everything. And when you're done I'm gonna keep coming back until there's nothing left of you. Do you fucking understand me? You're never gonna fucking be rid of me."

The tension and electricity filling Seth built to desperate levels. Seth's vision filled with colors like electricity was trying to escape out of his eyes. Finally, he felt it all explode out of him, laser-focused, from his cock. The next thing he knew, Seth lay on his side – he wondered if he'd blacked out for a moment. He felt euphoric but somehow incomplete. He heard Dean breathing next to him and rolled toward him. He reached for Dean and felt his cock seemingly trying to force its way out of his pants. Dean sighed. Seth felt himself start to salivate. He knew what he needed.

Seth made quick work of getting Dean's pants off of him and started to slowly lick the length of Dean's cock before taking it into his mouth. Seth eagerly moved his skilled mouth up and down Dean's cock, giving the head extra attention with his tongue. He heard Dean's breathing speed up and felt the tension building in Dean's body. Dean's hips started to move in time with Seth's mouth, and Seth thought that at any moment, Dean would grab his head and take over like he always did. But he didn't this time. Seth kept speeding up his pace, taking Dean's cock deeper into this throat, until finally Dean groaned and pressed hard against Seth's face, coming deep in Seth's throat. Seth lingered for a few moments, reveling in the feeling of Dean's cock filling him, before he lay down next to Dean. Dean pulled Seth to him and held him close. They lay in silence for a while, until Dean whispered in Seth's ear.

"You know, if I ever meet that Danny asshole, I'm still gonna fucking kick his ass. I don't care what you think," Dean said.

Seth smiled. "Well, I guess that's okay. If you have to."


	6. Chapter 6

Dean dreamed that a net covered him. It was some kind of energetic, glowing mesh – violet and shimmering. It felt soft and wispy to the touch, but as he struggled against it, he realized it was incredibly strong. The more he struggled, the more the net tightened against him.

"Let me in," the net said. What the fuck? Was this some Alice in Wonderland shit?

"Let me in," the net repeated. It dawned on Dean that the net's voice was Seth's voice. Dean relaxed against the net and invited it into him.

The net dissolved into Dean. Its energy quickly coursed through Dean's nerves. Each of Dean's nerves began to shine with an immense, irresistible, blissful craving. Dean looked down at his body and saw a faint violet glow emanating from his body. The energy inside Dean's nerves began to expand and boil deliciously, engulfing his entire consciousness, and destroying everything except this blissful craving. Dean felt Seth grinning wickedly inside his nerves.

As Dean woke up, he became aware of Seth kissing his neck and stroking his begging cock. Dean's nerves still felt as energetic and blissful as they had in his dream, and Seth's skillful lips and hands made Dean's nerves feel like they were singing.

"Shit, man," Dean said, smiling. "You're fucking evil."

Seth laughed. "I'm the evil one?" Seth kissed Dean and Dean kissed him back deeply, eagerly taking in the soft warmth of his mouth. Dean pressed himself on top of Seth and pinned his arms down. Dean began sucking on Seth's bottom lip before pulling on it with his teeth and eventually biting down. Seth moaned and Dean felt the sound of it echo in his nerves.

"Yeah, you're right," Dean said. "I'm the evil one. But you're the crazy fucking whore who woke me up like that. You never fucking learn, do you?"

"Fuck, I know," Seth said. "But I fucking need you."

"Yeah?" Dean said. He couldn't remember if Seth had ever said anything back to him like that, and it was so hot that he felt momentarily at a loss for words. It was one thing to feel what Seth wanted, to know without words. It was a completely different thing for him to ask for it – for it to be so real and so unmistakable. Dean pressed down harder on Seth's arms. He looked down into Seth's eyes and drank in the desperation in them. He swore he could feel shocks of energy flowing between them.

"Tell me what you need," Dean snarled. "I want to hear you say it. I want to know just how much of a crazy fucking whore you are." With that, Dean bit down on Seth's shoulder, and Dean felt Seth's delicious moan flow through him.

"God, fuck, I don't know," Seth said. "I just fucking need you. I need you to rip this gnawing shit out of me. Get it out. Fucking kill it. I need you to fucking break me so I can come back whole again. You're the only one who can. You're the only one who always does. You're the only one who fucking ever could."

"Yeah, that's right. No one else knows what to do with that shit. But I know. I fucking know."

Dean slapped Seth hard across his face. Dean felt such a beautiful thrill flow through Seth – and himself - that he had to do it again. The next time, Dean felt a thin beam of adrenaline shoot through him, which he used to pick up Seth by his shoulders, shake him in time with the irresistible vibration he felt, and throw him back down. Dean looked down at Seth, his lips parted, his breath heavy, and it was all Dean could do not to rip Seth limb from limb right then and free him from whatever the fuck it was that always seemed to try to eat him alive.

"Goddamn, I'd fucking rip you apart right now, but that'd be too fucking easy," Dean growled, pressing his fingernails into Seth's chest. "You know I could do it. That's why you want me, you fucking slut. I could rip you to fucking shreds."

Dean dug one thumbnail deeper into Seth's skin and dragged it just enough to break the skin and draw a few drops of blood. Dean licked up the blood, closed his eyes, and savored the faint metallic taste of it. He could almost feel the energy of it entering his own blood. He felt a smile creep across his face as his eyes met Seth's. He could see that Seth's eyes were desperately begging him for more, but Dean wasn't content just to see it today. He wanted to hear it again.

"I know you're fucking begging for it," Dean said. "I can see it. I can fucking feel it. But I want to fucking hear you say it. So fucking tell me. Fucking beg me."

"Oh shit, just fucking crush me," Seth said. "Fuck me until I can't fucking breathe. Until all my bones are broken and my lungs are full of blood and I'm fucking drowning in it all. Until I'm like, just fucking dust."

"Yeah, I can do that," Dean laughed as he flipped Seth onto his stomach on the edge of the bed. Dean picked up the bottle of lube from the nightstand and got them both ready. Dean entered Seth as slowly as he possibly could, savoring the feeling of each millimeter of Seth embracing his cock. Seth whimpered with anticipation.

"Oh God, please," Seth begged. "I need you so bad."

With that, Dean plunged his cock hard into Seth, drawing a deep moan from him that rocked both of them. As Dean continued thrusting deep into Seth, he pressed his body hard against Seth's, trying to crush Seth with his weight. Dean noticed that Seth started to bury his face in the blanket.

"You twisted little whore," Dean whispered into Seth's ear. "You just can't be patient, can you? Yeah. I still don't think you get what you're asking me to do. I will fucking crush you. I'll fucking drown you. I won't stop until I do. I'll drown you in my own blood if I have to."

Dean wrapped his fist around Seth's cock. Seth sighed and started to writhe as Dean began to stroke Seth's cock in time with his own thrusts. It felt as if one angry ball of delicious tension was growing together in both of them. Dean could barely see.

"You're not gonna have any more breath in your lungs," Dean said. "You're just gonna fucking have me. I'm crushing everything else out of you. You're not gonna have any blood. You're not gonna have any bones. It's all fucking mine now. It's all fucking me. I don't think you get it. I can fucking obliterate you. There'll be nothing left of you for all of those motherfuckers to find."

Dean didn't know how much longer he could go. Every fiber of his being was on the verge of exploding. All he could see was red. From somewhere at the edge of his own consciousness, Dean heard Seth cry out - shit, it was beautiful – and felt Seth's hot cum on his fist. Dean felt every nerve in his own body let go at once as he released himself completely into Seth. Dean lingered inside Seth for a few moments before he lay down next to Seth. They lay like that for a while, catching their breath, waiting for their nerves and blood flow to return to some state resembling normal. Eventually, Seth turned to look at Dean with a blissful, relieved look in his eyes.

"You know," Seth said, "I meant what I said. You're the only one. You're the only one who's ever made it go away. Every time."


	7. Chapter 7

As Seth lay next to Dean, he watched a faint beam of sunlight begin to creep through the hotel drapes. It was getting close to 7 in the morning. Seth felt a little bit guilty for waking Dean up so early on a rare day when it wasn't a necessity – not that Dean seemed to mind. Besides, Dean probably knew as well as Seth did by now how persistent this shit could be sometimes. At this point, Seth had lost his tolerance for suffering through it. When it came back – and come back it did – Seth needed Dean to take it again.

Seth wasn't sure what it was or where it came from. But he remembered when he first felt it – back when he was 12, the first time he met Danny. That creeping, gnawing thing in the pit of his stomach, shooting up his spine, filling his mind. And when he lay in the dirt in the woods, his head spinning, its electricity gave him the warmest embrace he'd known and told him he'd finally, really, truly done good. He'd never felt better.

Since then, it wasn't so easily satisfied. Oh sure, sometimes it acted kindly. He remembered the way it held him as he lay in the ring after particularly brutal matches, his ears fucking ringing like crazy, wondering if he could get to his feet and walk out of there. It stroked his hair while yet another grunting middle-aged man – married, no doubt - buried himself in him, seemingly for dear life. "Yes, baby," it said. "This is what you were made to do. This is what you deserve."

And truthfully, there was a lot he liked about it. The sensations it brought into motion were, in their way, kind of fucking beautiful. But at the end of the day, no matter what he did, no matter how far he went, it would still be there, fucking mocking him from the pit of his stomach, reminding him that he could never stop, he could never fucking relax, he could never stick around long enough for anyone to know what really drove him – what he truly was.

And if he ignored it – oh shit, if he ignored it. He remembered laying on the bathroom floor, banging his head against the tub, feeling like it was fucking tearing his guts apart. Sometimes he'd bite his lips until they bled, pull his hair out, dig his nails into his skin, slap himself, begging it to stop.

That first night he was with Dean, it felt like Dean had reached inside him, ripped out whatever this shit was, and fucking beat it bloody. It came back, of course – Dean hadn't figured out how to really kill it, and Seth didn't know if he really wanted to be completely rid of it. But that night was the first night Seth could remember that he slept, really fucking slept, since he was 12.

When it came back, it laughed at him. "He knows what you are now, you stupid whore. He told you so. He took what he wanted. You're used up. Everyone's going to know now. No one will ever go near you again."

He believed it at first and it scared him – scared him fucking shitless. God, that sounded so stupid now, though, at the time, he really thought it was right. But once he knew what it was like to be free of it all for a while, suffering through it eventually became unbearable, and he knew he had to fucking try. And after that second night, he knew that gnawing shit had lied.

That next night, even before Dean said anything, Seth knew Dean could tell that Dean knew something was up, the way Seth was downing bourbon like it was water.

"Shit, man," Dean said. "What's going on? You're gonna fucking pass out, the rate you're going."

"I don't know," Seth said. "It's hard to explain."

"Try me."

"Okay, but it's gonna sound really fucking weird."

Dean laughed. "That's kind of my fucking world, dude."

"Alright. Well, like, remember how I told you before how it is, like, when I have a match and when it's done and it's just all buzzing and shit and I just can't fucking come down and I need more, you know? Well, it's like that with other shit, too, like with sex, or whatever, and it makes me do some crazy fucking shit sometimes. And I say like, it, because it feels like there's this fucking thing just gnawing at my guts like just fucking demanding that I do all this shit. And if I do, it's real fucking nice, and if I don't or I can't or whatever, like, shit, I don't fucking know. But with this thing, you know, I could just never feel like, okay. Just fucking okay. But like, when I've been with you, it's like you found this thing and fucking threw it out, and yeah, it crawled back eventually or something, and you threw it out again. And no one's ever done that. But this fucking thing, after I was first with you, it like, got fucking pissed off or something, and it was like, you know, he's going to tell everyone what a filthy fucking whore you are and like no one will ever go near you again. And I believed that for a while. But now I know, at least I think, that it's a fucking lie, you know? And I don't really know why I'm telling you this, but I feel like I kind of have to, right?"

Dean took a drink. "You know, it's funny," he finally said. "Because I kind of already knew this."

"What do you mean you already knew?"

"I can feel it, man. Whatever that shit is, I can feel it. Don't ask me how, I don't fucking know. But it creeps in. I don't know, maybe that's why I wanted you in the first place."

"So you're not like, this guy's a crazy fucking whore, I need to get the fuck out of here?"

"Well, you're a crazy fucking whore, but I'm still here, right?"

"Yeah…"

Dean finished off his drink and stared at Seth for a while. Seth watched as something sinister started to grow in Dean's eyes – the thrill of fear and anticipation filled him. By then, Seth knew what was coming.

"Besides," Dean said, "I've got my shit, too."

Dean started playing with Seth's hair and kissing his earlobe. The way he did it, Seth had to admit, was a little bit creepy. Of course, he kind of liked that.

"I mean, what," Dean whispered, "You thought I was some kind of normal motherfucker? You still don't fucking get it, do you? Whatever the fuck this is inside of you, it's nothing compared to me."

Dean's every word – every breath – rippled through Seth, and when they combined with everything else coursing through him, it was a combustible thing. And when Dean's mouth moved to Seth's neck, it was like he dropped a lit match on the whole thing. Seemingly sensing that immediate conflagration, Dean's hand moved to Seth's cock, which now felt painfully trapped by his pants. At Dean's touch, Seth couldn't help but moan, something that sounded to his ears like a pathetic, almost whimpering sort of sound. Dean laughed.

"Yeah, you're definitely a crazy fucking whore. Whatever that thing is, it's at least smart enough to run the fuck away from me. But you, you just dive the fuck in, begging me, like you've got some kind of fucking death wish or something."

With that, Dean slammed Seth face down into the couch cushion, pressing Seth's face down hard into the cushion for a few seconds before pulling him back up by his hair. An amazing rush coursed through Seth and as he caught his breath, he felt a smile involuntarily creeping up on his lips. Dean smiled back, still looking absolutely, beautifully sinister, before shoving Seth's face back down into the cushion again, this time longer. Dean held Seth up by his hair again, wrapped his other arm around his throat, and whispered again into his ear.

"You're fucking beautiful, you know that? A fucking beautiful, twisted motherfucker. Goddammit. I don't know what to do about you sometimes. I want to rip you apart and crawl inside of you and anyone, if anything, tries to fuck with you, shit, I don't know. I want to fucking destroy you so no one else can. You're too fucking good for this shit."

Dean dropped Seth back down onto the sofa, on his back, and took his pants off of him. Dean wrapped his mouth around Seth's cock and Seth felt like it was the most amazingly heavenly thing he'd ever known. Dean's mouth felt desperate and warm and hungry. Seth's body felt overtaken with a thousand delicious sensations, and it wasn't long before he felt everything explode out of him – all the demons, all the fire, all the crazy gnawing shit - with embarrassing quickness. Dean fell on top of him and kissed him so deeply he felt like Dean was trying to steal all of the breath from his lungs and get down into his soul.

"Yeah, shit, I got it all," Dean said, sounding fucking manic, fucking crazed. "But you're not done yet. You're not fucking done."

Dean took his pants off and stood before Seth, Dean's hard cock begging for some of the release he'd just given Seth. Seth dropped down to his knees on the floor and eagerly took Dean's cock into his mouth. Dean fucked Seth's throat so hard that Seth could barely breathe, a feeling that made all the neurons in his brain sing with joy. God, their bodies were both so fucking desperate tonight. Seth started to gag a little bit, but somehow, Dean knew not to stop until he came deep into Seth's throat and the two of them collapsed together into a euphoric, sweaty, gasping heap, so spent that neither of them could move another inch before falling asleep together on the floor in each other's arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's events take place around The Shield's match against The Undertaker, Kane, and Daniel Bryan on the April 22, 2013 episode of Raw from London.

This jetlag bullshit wasn't doing Dean's sleep any favors. The clock's digits loudly reminded Dean that it was currently 2:37am there in England. Even though Dean felt nauseatingly exhausted, there was something vibrating in the back of his mind that kept him sleepless so far tonight.

Dean sat up and shook his head, sighed, blinked a few times, and scratched his head. He looked to his left and caught a glimpse of Seth next to him, illuminated by the light of the clock. Seth lay on his belly with the covers pulled down to his waist, his hair splayed all over the pillow. As Dean's eyes slowly caressed the entire gorgeous line of Seth's spine, he became aware of something fitful in Seth's breathing. Dean hoped Seth was dreaming about something good.

Dean flipped his pillow over and lay back down on his side. He closed his eyes and felt himself doze a little bit. After a while, Dean noticed the bed shaking next to him. Seth was shivering something fierce. Dean touched Seth, but he didn't feel feverish. Eventually, Seth started groaning painfully. Dean held Seth close, allowing Seth's shivering to wrack his own body, too. Dean felt Seth sob against his chest.

"I don't fucking know. " Seth said. "Everything I do, it just... I can't."

Whatever it was, Dean had to kill it.

\--

On the helicopter ride from Cardiff to London the next evening, Dean felt sick as a dog. The adrenaline from the match in Cardiff was finally wearing off, and last night was finally catching up with him with a vengeance, it seemed. Dean looked over at Seth, who was looking ahead intensely, a smile on his face, rocking back and forth slightly. Seth turned to Dean and as he spoke, his eyes looked almost crazed.

"Dude, shit, did you ever think we'd be doing this?" he said. "Hit Wales, get in a fucking helicopter - still buzzing, man, still buzzing - hit London, the fucking Undertaker. Intense, man, fucking awesome. I love it. I'm like, shaking, man. I can't wait. This is gonna be so fucking amazing."

At the time, Dean didn't feel so sure, but when he hit the ring and the heat of the crowd melted into him, it all changed. It always did. Seth was right, it was fucking amazing. Every movement was electric. Every second was alive. At the end of the match, when they walked back through the crowd, everything flowing through Dean made him feel like he was the most powerful fucking being on the planet – like fucking Thor or fucking Zeus or something.

And Seth – shit, that beautiful fucking maniac. Some kind of crazy animal energy was flowing out of Seth and lighting up every neuron in Dean's brain. It was fucking ridiculous. It rang so loudly in Dean's head that it took every ounce of his concentration to focus on what everyone in the back was saying. He did his best to accept their praise and congratulations as wholeheartedly as he could muster – he didn't want to seem like a fucking asshole, not now, he didn't want to fuck up this opportunity, but goddamn, he was going to lose his fucking mind if he couldn't rip into Seth soon.

\--

With one motion, Dean slammed the hotel room door shut and pushed Seth down onto the floor. The energetic cloud of desire surrounding them was already palpable.

"I'm not in the mood to fuck around tonight," Dean said. "I hope you understand."

"Give me your fucking worst," Seth said.

Seth's words stirred up some kind of irresistible impulse in Dean, and before he knew it, he'd punched Seth in the jaw. The crack of his fist against Seth vibrated triumphantly through Dean. Seth's eyes glowed like it was fucking Christmas. Dean felt himself start to laugh.

"Oh, you want my worst?" Dean said, pressing his weight into Seth's shoulders. "You want my fucking worst? That was nothing. Shit, you've never even gotten close."

"God, whatever it is, I fucking need it," Seth said, his voice heavy with desperation. "Whatever you've fucking got, I need it. You don't know what it's like in here right now. You really don't fucking know." Shit, Seth sounded fucking wild tonight.

"Oh, I think I know. You think you know what's here," Dean said, sitting up and slapping his palm against his forehead, "But you've got no fucking clue. You seriously don't know what the fuck you're asking for. Or maybe you do, and you're just that fucking nuts. I don't know. You fucking tell me."

Seth slammed his head against the floor. He looked up at Dean with a manic grin on his face before he did it again, keeping his eyes locked on Dean's. When Seth lifted his head again, still with that manic grin on his face, Dean picked him up under his arms, threw him face-first onto the bed. He pulled Seth's clothes off of him as quickly as he could before making short work of his own. He stood for a moment, staring at Seth's prone body, temporarily paralyzed by all of the possibilities flowing through his mind, until the corner of his eye caught the glint from his belt on the floor. He picked the belt up at the buckle end and lashed Seth's back with it. The leather made a satisfying cracking sound as it hit Seth's flesh. Seth let out a delicious moan that resonated straight into Dean's cock. Dean lashed him again.

"Yeah, that's right," Dean growled. "You like that, you fucking painslut? I'm gonna leave you a bloody fucking mess. You'll be lucky if those motherfuckers can even recognize your fucking body by the time I'm done with you."

Dean continued lashing Seth's back and ass with his belt, decorating Seth's body with fiery red lines and filling the room with the sound of cracking leather and Seth's disarmingly beautiful moans. Dean didn't recall Seth ever sounding quite so operatic before. That feeling of absolute power from earlier in the night roared up in Dean again. He paused for a moment to admire his handiwork and revel in the sensations coursing through his body. He heard Seth make a faint sound that sounded like a whimper.

"Don't stop," Seth begged. "Please."

Dean laughed as he quickly lashed Seth a few more times before dropping the belt on the floor. Dean kneeled beside Seth and pulled Seth up onto his knees by his hair. Seth's eyes were open wide and pleading into Dean's, and Dean stared deeply into them. As Dean stared so closely into Seth's eyes, he was finally able to see that violet haze hiding behind Seth's eyes. As he truly regarded it for the first time, Dean's mind filled with an eerie calm.

Dean kissed Seth slowly and deeply as his fingers traced the marks he'd just made on Seth's back. He felt Seth's body shudder slightly. When Dean finally started to pull back from their kiss, Seth started to suck on Dean's lower lip. After a while, Dean broke the kiss and gently grazed Seth's neck with his fingertips. He brought two of those fingers to Seth's lips, which Seth began to eagerly suck, while the fingers of his other hand first traced Seth's collarbone, then explored his chest and stomach before arriving at Seth's rock hard cock. Dean savored the slow burn smoldering in his own body, but it seemed like his slow, teasing touch was making Seth quake with impatient desire. Seth moaned with such begging relief when Dean finally began to stroke his cock.

"Oh, you fucking need more, you whore?" Dean snarled into Seth's ear. "I've already made you moan a fucking symphony and that's not enough for you? That's okay. You know I haven't even gotten started yet."

With that, Dean tossed Seth back onto the bed, this time on his back. Dean found the bottle of lube and took his time getting them both ready. He teased Seth, first with one finger, then two, then three, savoring the slow stretching of his warmth. Seth started to moan and buck against him, like he was trying to get more of something, more of anything. It made Dean wonder if Seth had ever had a fist in there – the kind of slut he was, he probably had. Dean pictured it as he fucked Seth with his fingers and considered trying for a moment – it seemed so fucking hot – but Dean's desire to fuck Seth then and there had grown irresistible. He felt as if flames were licking the base of his brain.

Despite his own growing impatience, Dean still wanted to make Seth squirm a bit. Dean slowly pulled his fingers out before pushing his cock into Seth just as slowly. He watched the look of desperation leave and the look of bliss grow in Seth's eyes as felt every inch of Seth embrace him so completely. Both Seth's eyes and his body were begging him inside. Once he was completely inside, he reveled in the feeling for a moment before he started thrusting into Seth. He noticed Seth's hand starting to drift down to his own cock, and Dean guided it the rest of the way, inviting Seth to start stroking himself in time with Dean's thrusts, his gentle moans quickly growing in volume.

Watching Seth's skillful hand move up and down his cock, biting his bottom lip all the while, started to feed those sinister flames licking Dean's mind, behind his eyes. Seth's eyes met them with a searing jolt. With that, Dean felt his hand move almost involuntarily around Seth's throat, and he felt that now-familiar electric charge quickly move through both of them.

"Yeah, that's right," Dean said. "This is what you fucking need, right here, you crazy fucking gasping whore. That's the only thing that really shuts that shit up, right?"

As he continued thrusting into Seth, slowly increasing his speed, Dean started tightening his grip around Seth's throat, enjoying the delicate ease with which it constricted. The more he tightened his grip, the more bliss he saw in Seth's eyes and heard in his moans. As Dean looked down into Seth eyes, he spotted a faint glimpse of that violet haze, a glimmer that busted a dam in Dean's mind, one that he'd only really built the night before. Dean started to vibrate with rage as he spoke directly into the haze.

"Yeah, I see you, you fucking piece of shit. That's what you are. That's all you fucking are. You can't fucking hide from me anymore. I'm the only one. I'm the only fucking one. I will take you. I will control you. You're mine. You're fucking mine."

Dean's other hand wrapped around Seth's neck, too, and Dean squeezed both of his hands around Seth's neck. Seth started to struggle to breathe some and his body began to writhe. His moans grew even louder and he began pumping his cock at a furious pace.

"Yeah, I got it, I fucking got it," Dean said, his voice urgent and crazed. "I really got it now. It's scared, I know it, I really got it good. You gotta fucking trust me. I know how to get it. I know what you fucking need."

Dean thrust harder and harder into Seth, feeling the heat boiling up between them, up into all of his nerves, desperately ready to explode out of him at any second, and as that tension grew, he wrapped it all around Seth's neck. Seth's whole body reached a frantic pace – he writhed and gasped and pounded his cock and cried out like he was having an exorcism. With one final cry, Seth's cock exploded gorgeously all over his fist and stomach. Dean swore he saw that violet glimmer explode into oblivion. With that, Seth's eyes closed and his body went limp. The vision sent a thrill through Dean that pushed him quickly over the edge, pulsing deep into Seth. Overcome, Dean collapsed next to Seth.

Seth's eyes fluttered open about a minute later, still heavily clouded with daze. Seth turned to Dean. He started to speak a few times but stopped himself.

"Shit," Seth finally said. "I just.. I don't know.. I think I kind of love you."

Dean smiled and drew Seth close to him. "That's what you say to the crazy bastard who just fucking choked you out?"

"I know," Seth said with a laugh. "It seems pretty fucking stupid, right?"

Dean pulled Seth's head into his chest. "If I were you, I'd get my head checked."

"But, seriously," Dean said, after a little while. "I fucking love you, too, alright? So I guess you're kind of stuck with this shit."

Seth smiled. "I always was."


	9. Chapter 9

As Seth sat up in bed, the welts on his back sent a shock of soreness through him. The memory of what caused them happily flooded through Seth's pleasantly drowsy mind. He smiled, pushed his hair back, and looked around for Dean. The room smelled like coffee.

Eventually, Seth's eyes found Dean standing out on the balcony in his boxers. He was leaning against the railing with a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Seth laughed. That crazy fucking bastard.

Seth threw his pants on and headed out to the balcony. As he walked past the coffee pot, he saw it was still half full. He poured himself a cup, took a gulp, then brought the cup with him to the balcony.

Seth slid the glass door open and Dean turned to smile at him. His smile seemed particularly warm and oddly sheepish coming from him. Dean eyed Seth's back as Seth walked toward the railing.

"So, I kind of fucked you up good," Dean said, still looking a little sheepish.

"Yeah, kind of," Seth laughed. "Maybe you'll have to try harder next time."

Dean took a long drag off his cigarette, looking off like he was lost in thought, and exhaled slowly. He looked toward Seth again and stared at him for a while. The long silence made Seth feel uneasy.

"You know, I meant what I said last night," Dean finally said. "I don't say that shit lightly."

"Me too," Seth said. The weird thing was, when Dean said it, it felt to Seth like a completely normal thing, like Dean had said he loved him hundreds of times already.

Dean looked almost relieved. "Good."

Seth smiled at Dean, then sipped his coffee. He hadn't lied. The fact that he didn't really know what he felt until the words finally fucking just fell out of his mouth last night didn't mean it wasn't true. He felt it then. He felt it now. It was as if all this time he'd kept his love for Dean smashed into a glass bottle in the middle of his chest, and when he came to last night, the thing had been smashed to bits and everything inside just fucking burst out, filling every nook and cranny of him as fast as it could, and when there was no room left, exploding out into the universe. Seth wondered if it really had displaced everything else. He hoped so.

Seth watched as Dean drank the last bit of his coffee before setting the mug down on the ground. Dean stared at Seth's back as he stood back, and something about that made Seth aware of some weird delicious tension in the air. Dean took another long drag off his cigarette, looking like he was in the middle of a long conversation in his mind.

"It's like I fucking marked you or something. I like that," Dean said.

"Yeah," Seth said. "Too bad it fades, right?"

"Yeah…" Dean said, taking yet another drag off his cigarette. Seth finished his coffee and set it down. A twinge of pain from his back sparked pleasantly through him. He bit his lip, savoring the sensation. The light rush of it just made his nerves start to beg for more. As Seth's thoughts started to run away from him, his eyes met Dean's and he felt the odd thrill of being found out. Dean smirked just a little and walk behind Seth, still holding his lit cigarette in his hand. Dean pressed himself against Seth's back, and Seth could feel that Dean was already starting to get hard. They both were.

"Yeah, I saw you give me that slutty fucking look," Dean growled into Seth's ear, his free hand creeping down Seth's chest, slowing making its way to his cock. "What, you think I don't fucking know by now what that is? So what is it? What do you need so fucking badly, right now, first thing in the goddamn morning, out here on this fucking balcony?"

At that word, Seth looked down at the pavement below and imagined the way his body would feel crashing down onto it – the unforgiving grit of it, the satisfying crunch of his bones, the drowning relief washing over him as his blood poured out of him, that cocky smirk still on Dean's face so many floors above. Right then, nothing seemed more perfect.

"Fuck," Seth said, "I want to be there, on that fucking pavement, fucking crushed, fucking drowning in my own fucking blood."

"What?" Dean said. "You want me to throw you off there like you're some kind of fucking trash or something?"

"Yeah…"

With that, Dean threw Seth back onto the ground, toward the glass door. Seth felt his body vibrate as he hit the concrete. Dean stood above Seth, took another drag of his cigarette, blew the smoke onto Seth, and laughed – so fucking unnervingly hot. Something about the whole scene reached deep inside Seth, fucking shook him, broke something free.

"Yeah, they'd really know what a crazy fucking whore you were then, wouldn't they? Right?" Dean said.

Dean knelt between Seth's legs and rubbed Seth's now rock-hard cock through his pants – all the while taking yet another drag off his cigarette and blowing yet more smoke onto Seth. Seth's mind felt like a fucking electric storm. Dean laughed again.

"What kind of sick motherfucker gets this fucking hard thinking about getting their ass tossed off a fucking balcony?" Dean said, grabbing Seth's cock tightly. "Only a ridiculous slut like you."

Dean took one last drag off his cigarette before he put the cigarette out right in the middle of Seth's chest and tossed it away. Seth cried out as the searing pain rushed through him, before it transformed into some kind of heady energetic bliss as it hit his brain. Seth lifted his hips as Dean pulled Seth's pants down to his knees and started stroking his cock slowly. All the energy flowing through Seth made his breathing grow ragged and his body start to shake. Seth bit his lip hard, trying desperately to keep as quiet as he could – he didn't know how much the sound would carry out here and he'd already screamed once.

"Yeah, but you're my fucking ridiculous slut now, aren't you?" Dean said. "And that's the craziest fucking thing of all. Everything I do – every crazy thing I fucking do to you, you just moan like a fucking beautiful whore, cum all over the fucking place, and just fucking beg me for more. Shit, you fucking love me for it. "

Seth found himself unable to hold his moans back – the sensations coursing through his body and Dean's voice – so fucking crazed but knowing so well, every word seemingly carefully chosen to push every button he had – it was almost too much to take. But Dean just kept stroking him so fucking slowly, so fucking gently, that fucking bastard.

And then, Dean just stopped. He stared at Seth for a moment, smirking slightly, before he threw his boxers off and shoved his cock down Seth's throat, so hard that Seth gagged. He then pulled back and slowly moved into Seth's throat until Seth easily took every inch of him, and stopped there, letting Seth revel in the enjoyment of being so wonderfully filled and barely able to breathe.

"Yeah," Dean said. "This is what you fucking need. You need to choke on my fucking cock, you whore. Come on, stroke yourself. You're gonna fucking cum for me, alright?"

Seth did as he was told and started stroking his cock furiously, so desperate to cum now. Dean started to thrust hard and deep into Seth's mouth, faster and faster, looking more crazed by the second. Eventually – out of nowhere – Dean started punching himself in the mouth, hard, until his lip started bleeding. Dean looked down at Seth, blood dripping from his mouth, eyes wide with adrenaline.

"That's right," Dean said. "This is how I fucking love you."

With that, Seth felt every single bit of energy, all that desperate tension, everything, burst out of him, all over his fist, into Dean, out into the universe. He felt dizzy. Through his haze, he barely felt Dean's hard final thrusts before Dean pulsed deep into his throat and collapsed onto him. Their lips met and Seth tasted blood and heat and something infinite he couldn't explain.

"Yeah," Dean said. "That's how I fucking love you. That's how I'm always gonna fucking love you."


	10. Chapter 10

Dean stood in the hotel lobby with Seth and waited to check in. Dean was fucking exhausted – even more so than usual. He didn't know why. He felt like he could barely hold his head up. But even though it was around midnight there was a guy in front of them who, of course, seemed to be having some kind of issue with his reservation. Dean looked around the lobby to try to distract himself and he started to laugh. This may have been the most ridiculously-decorated hotel lobby in which he'd ever set foot. Sure, all the hotels in Texas liked to ham up the cowboy stuff a little bit, but this lobby was officially cowboy hell, complete with bad generic country music.

Just as Dean was entertaining the thought of destroying the speakers in the lobby and throwing them at the guy in front of them, the song switched to Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire." It felt like the hotel's peace offering, and Dean decided to take it as such. As Dean listened to the song, he started watching Seth, who was scrolling intensely on his phone, biting his lip with concentration, a few messy strands of hair falling out of his hat and onto his face. And that's all it took to stir it up – the thing that craved, the thing that protected, the thing that knew. Johnny was right, Dean thought. Love is a burning thing.

As they lay together in the bed in that equally-ridiculous hotel room, Dean felt protected. It was an odd thought, he knew, but it was true. The room was pitch black – they were ostensibly trying to go to sleep. Dean knew they should be but he felt almost too tired to sleep. Dean's fingers drifted out of Seth's hair slowly down his spine and around to his hipbone. Protected from what, exactly? Dean felt Seth's eyelashes flutter against his chest and heard Seth moan just a little, though what it meant was unmistakable. Dean would know it anywhere now. And Dean's consciousness split between the weird, gentle brush of Seth's eyelashes and that little fucking begging moan. Something safe and something dangerous.

Dean had always found exhaustion and boredom to be his most dangerous combination. Without Seth, what would Dean be doing right now? If this had never happened, where would he be, right now, in the middle of the night, in the armpit of Texas?

Boredom was once something Dean could never escape. He could never sit still. He could never relax. He always knew some chaos was lurking, and he welcomed it gladly. If he couldn't find it, he created it. He'd always needed everything to be so fucking interesting all the time. But nothing ever was for long.

Dean pulled Seth closer to him and took in the heat of his skin, tuned in and took in that vibrating energy – that fucking ball of chaos Dean knew was inside Seth – and it wasn't long before Dean felt it buzzing inside himself too. Even though Dean was exhausted, he needed more.

Dean rolled them both over so that Seth lay on his back. Dean felt Seth's breath growing heavier and found his lips in the darkness. As soon as their lips met and their bodies pressed together, both of them quickly growing hard, Dean felt an urge grow inside him, suddenly, breaking through, an absolute need to take every bit of Seth inside his body, to burn him there until he had melted into his blood and flowed through him, into his heart and back out again. The urge took Dean's body over. As he kissed Seth, his kiss hard and probing and needy, he tried desperately with every ounce of power he had left tonight to somehow draw Seth into him, rationality be damned. The fact that he couldn't right now was driving Dean insane with frustration, so crazy that Dean felt his whole body start to shake. He was too fucking tired for this shit. Dean broke the kiss and tried to gather himself, try to find some fucking words, try to find something, but all he could do was growl, a low, guttural thing that felt like it shook the entire fucking room. But Dean still couldn't stop shaking.

Seth reached up to Dean, placed his hands on Dean's arms, and pressed into Dean like he was trying to steady him somehow. Dean swore he felt Seth start to shake beneath him, too, right at that moment, and Dean felt his mind steady just enough.

"Do you have any fucking clue what you do to me?" Dean said, pressing his body hard against Seth's. "I'm fucking exhausted as shit but one little slutty fucking moan from you and it's all I can do not to slice my fucking body open right now and shove you inside, just any way I fucking can, goddammit. Is that what you're fucking trying to make me do?"

Dean looked down at Seth and saw his outline in the darkness of the room and heard his deep, shaky breath. But Seth didn't say anything, and for some reason tonight, this only made Dean more frustrated. Dean grabbed Seth's shoulders and shook him, just a bit, as Seth was still holding on to Dean's arms.

"Is that what you're fucking trying to make me do?" Dean repeated, nearly yelling this time, his voice growing more desperate with each word. "What the fuck are you doing? Come on, fucking answer me."

"You're tired. Fucking lay down," Seth said, pushing against Dean, trying to resist his weight and put him onto his back. Dean continued to resist, though his efforts just made his body shake more and he could feel himself weakening against Seth's resistance. Eventually, he felt Seth overtake him, and before Dean realized it, he was on his back and Seth was on top of him, nearly panting. Once Dean realized what had happened, he felt something shift in him, unexpectedly and suddenly, and it was as if all of the tension and frustration in him had released and settled, throbbing, in his cock.

Without a sound, Seth slid down Dean's body and took Dean's cock into his mouth. Seth didn't bother to tease or make a show of it – he just took Dean's cock, deeply and skillfully, focused, with what felt like calculated precision. Dean knew he wouldn't be long. He'd built up all the tension, it felt like he just needed the invitation to explode. Soon enough, Dean felt his whole body let go and he surrendered into Seth, every bit of tension and twisted energy pulsing from Dean into Seth like a fucking laser.

And when Dean was done, he felt light, like he was floating away, drifting off. He struggled to keep his eyes open, to resist – he fucking had to. He wasn't done yet. But despite his best efforts, he was still only barely aware of Seth sliding up next to him and kissing his ear.

"Just fucking stop already," Seth whispered. "Just fucking go to sleep."


	11. Chapter 11

Seth lay next to Dean in the darkness of that ridiculous cowboy-themed hotel room. The rhythmic sound of Dean's faint snoring filled Seth's ears. Seth's knowledge of his role in it filled him with an odd sort of pride, a comfortable thing. As much as Seth still craved what he knew Dean would have unquestionably given him, this, right now, was almost enough. Almost.

Seth's hand moved down to his cock, still hard from earlier. Seth started to stroke his cock slowly, without any real sense of urgency, just enjoying himself. As he continued, the darkness and desperation continued to stay at bay. Seth tried to remember if he'd ever jerked off so peacefully. In the past, before Dean, if he'd been alone he'd almost certainly have ended up with his belt around his neck, gasping - hating that it felt so fucking good, hating the need, hating the laughter he swore he heard.

Seth's thoughts drifted to that beach in Tampa where he used to go - the darkness of the water, the crashing of the waves. He could've watched the water for days. He remembered the first time he took Dean there.

"I'm not really a beach guy," Dean said when he suggested it one Wednesday afternoon. "But, you know, I bet I could find a way to actually make it kind of fun with you."

They drank a few beers they'd snuck in and watched the waves for a while before Dean suggested they go for a swim - it was getting too hot, he said. Seth followed Dean into the ocean. Seth enjoyed the feeling of the cool water gradually enveloping him with each step in. They passed all the mothers splashing with their children, chatting retirees, the skinny high school girls wading gingerly, pre-teen boys boogie boarding, until they were out where no one else was.

They were chest-deep in the waves, deep enough for the hypnotic undulation of the waves to vibrate in Seth's entire body. Seth stared at the horizon in something of a trance, vaguely focused on a couple of boats out in the distance.

Seth snapped to just in time to see Dean's smirking face as he suddenly pushed him hard under the waves. He felt his knees hit the bottom as Dean pressed down on his shoulders. His heart started to pound as sheer gorgeous fear and arousal shot through him, glittering up to his brain (and even as he remembered the feeling now, Seth felt something like swarm of brutally wonderful butterflies fluttering in his belly).

Seemingly just as suddenly, Dean pulled Seth up by his hair, laughing all the while, and drew Seth close, with his back against Dean's chest, both of them facing the horizon. Dean's breath was heavy in Seth's ear, and his hardness was obviously pressing against Seth's ass - so obvious that he must have somehow taken his cock out already. Dean rested one hand around Seth's neck as the other drifted down the front of Seth's body, eventually tracing the edges of Seth's (admittedly quite skimpy, he recalled) bathing suit before gripping his rock hard cock solidly. Seth leaned as much weight as he could onto Dean - his body was so shaky with fear and desire he felt like he could barely stand. Seth tried to turn his head to see who might be able to see him, hoping like hell no one could - he didn't want to get kicked out, found out, fucking arrested, whatever happens when you do shit like this at a public fucking beach - but Dean, seeming to anticipate this, blocked Seth's movement with his shoulder.

"Oh, don't worry," Dean said as he slipped his hand into Seth's bathing suit and started to stroke his cock, "They're all fucking looking at you. Just like they were when you showed up in whatever this slutty fucking thing is you're wearing. All those little kids, old ladies, fucking everyone. And they all know exactly what you are, exactly what you need, exactly what you're fucking doing right now."

As Dean spoke he started grinding his cock against Seth's ass, harder and harder with each word, his pace on Seth's cock starting to quicken all the while. Seth tried to resist making noise but he couldn't help but moan. As soon as he did, Dean moved his hand from Seth's neck and put a couple of his fingers in Seth's mouth. Seth sucked them desperately - something about the salty taste on them drove Seth particularly wild.

"Yeah, is that what you want?" Dean said. "You want me to make you cum in front of all these people. Fuck, you're such a goddamn whore. What? You want me to fucking turn you around, rip this slutty fucking thing off you, let everyone see just how fucking hard you're gonna cum for me? Oh, and they'll see just what kind of crazy slut you are, that you gotta have it right now at this fucking beach in front of everyone - you just can't fucking wait, the way your body was fucking begging for this."

Seth's head was buzzing with high-pitched bliss, and he felt like he was losing control of his body - his hips started bucking erratically and he couldn't help but bite hard into Dean's fingers. As he did, Dean started grinding even harder against Seth, his low moans filling Seth's ears between his words, which grew increasingly breathless.

"But I know what you really need," Dean said. "You need to fucking drown. You need all this water in your fucking lungs. Fucking all of it. They all know that. They're fucking begging me to do it, right now, you know that? And I could. I could fucking drown you right here - you know that, I almost fucking did already - hold your pretty fucking head down until your lungs are fucking full and burning and the salt is just fucking ripping them apart. And they wouldn't fucking care. None of them fucking would. Because they all know that's everything you fucking deserve, everything you fucking need me to give you."

Dean's words grew more and more labored as he crashed harder and harder against Seth's ass. He pumped Seth's cock furiously all the while. Seth was so close he couldn't even fucking see - couldn't even fucking feel anything else. He just tasted Dean's salty lips as they pressed hungrily against his, and their desperate moans slammed together into one crushing force that exploded out to the sun and out to sea.

Seth felt that same force rock him now, back in that ridiculous hotel room next to Dean, as his orgasm came shaking out of him. He felt his body sink into the bed as he finished, and Dean's faint snoring once again entered his consciousness, enveloping him as his mind drifted out to sea.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean and Seth were working out next to each other at an especially shitty CrossFit box. Both of them were drenched in sweat – everyone was. Their shirts were long gone. The air conditioner must have been broken. At first, the heat exhausted Dean, but he powered through it until he hit a crazy endorphin high that made him feel like he was the king of the world. He swore he could taste Seth's sweat on his lips – he could definitely smell him. It was fucking intoxicating.

They were doing front squats now. Well, Seth was. Dean had already stopped and slunk down on the concrete floor. Seth wasn't stopping though – he had the bar pressed hard against his neck, so hard that it was practically strangling him. His eyes were huge – intense, focused, blissful, high, fucking crazed. He grunted like an animal, shook his hair back Kept on fucking lifting. He had to know what he was doing to Dean. Fucking had to.

Finally, Seth tossed the weights down and collapsed next to Dean, his chest heaving. Dean saw that Seth's neck was red and raw from rubbing hard against that bar. That crazy motherfucker. He just couldn't stop, could he? Dean bit his lip, dug his nails into his palm – anything to keep some semblance of composure out here.

When they were done, Dean felt almost grateful that the place didn't have a shower or even a place to change. The summer sun beat down relentlessly as they walked to the car. As soon as they got into the car, sitting on their towels, Dean grabbed Seth, pulled him close and crushing, kissed him hard and bruising. Dean devoured the taste of Seth's sweat as his smell filled every fiber of Dean's being. Dean brushed his fingers against the raw spot on Seth's throat and felt Seth shudder against him.

"You just couldn't fucking stop, could you?" Dean said. "You felt all their eyes on you and you just had to fucking show them what a fucking whore you are. I bet you liked that, didn't you? Everyone watching you, fucking gasping, fucking choking, going so hard you rubbed yourself fucking raw. I bet you'd love it if all of them drilled you to the fucking floor, you fucking slut."

Seth just stared up at Dean – his eyes were as huge and crazed and blissful as when he'd been doing those front squats. Dean smacked Seth hard across the face and laughed.

"Oh come on, tell me what you fucking want," Dean said. "I know you want something. You want me to go back in there and get all of them, line 'em up, make 'em all fucking pound you 'til you just can't fucking take it anymore? 'Til you're just fucking broken wide open on the fucking floor?"

"Shit, I don't know," Seth said. "Like, something's just fucking shaking in me and it's fucking driving me crazy and you need to fucking let it out or I don't fucking know, you know? And I thought I could work it out of me but God, it's just fucking worse now the harder I fucking try. So I don't care. Whatever you want. Fucking break me. Fucking break this. Right here."

Dean laughed, something low and sinister. "If I did what I wanted to do to you out here – what you fucking need – I'd get arrested. So you're gonna have to fucking wait. But you know I'll make it happen."

Dean licked slowly up Seth's neck, savoring the salty taste of sweat on his skin – it was like it conducted electricity, the charge it sent through Dean. Seth shook at the touch of Dean's tongue and growled. After a bit, he pushed Dean away.

"Look, I don't know what you're doing but we need to get out of here because, goddammit I just don't fucking know,," Seth said. "Because if you can't fucking do it here then all this is going to do is just like, I don't know, I just don't know how long I can fucking stand this but I need you to do what you're gonna fucking do because like all I hear is this fucking noise in my head , this fucking sound like, I don't fucking know, and it's all over me, and just like, really, I just fucking don't kno

Dean pulled his own hair, trying to bring some piece of his mind back to reality. He needed to figure something out. He made some kind of unintelligible noise of exasperation, then reached down and popped the trunk of the car open. He went into the back seat, pulled the lever on the back seat, and pushed it down. He walked over to Seth's side of the car and opened the door.

"Get out," Dean said, grabbing Seth's arm.

Seth got out of the car and followed as Dean dragged him to the back of the car. Dean tossed Seth into the trunk on his belly before crawling in after him and pulling the trunk down over him. They lay partially in the trunk and partially on the back of the folded back seat.

"Is this what you're gonna make me fucking do?" Dean said. "You're gonna make me fuck you right here in the trunk of this fucking car in broad fucking daylight?"

"Yeah…" Seth said. Dean slapped Seth again.

"Yeah?" Dean said.

"Fuck yeah," Seth said. "Please."

Dean yanked Seth's gym shorts off him, revealing Seth's hard, leaking cock. Dean dove down and licked the pre-cum off Seth's cock and sucked the head just enough to make Seth start to writhe and moan before he pulled away.

"Yeah, I know you love it, but that's not what you need, that's not what you're fucking begging me for," Dean said.

Dean found his duffel bag in the trunk and dug through it until he found a bottle of lube, warmed a bit by the summer heat. Dean pulled his own shorts off and lubed his cock, moaning a bit at the slight relief of his own touch, before giving attention to Seth's entrance. Once they were both ready, Dean pressed the full force of his weight onto Seth's back and pushed his cock deep inside Seth. As Dean thrust hard into Seth, Dean kissed and sucked on whatever parts of Seth's body he could easily reach – his neck, his shoulders, his ears – desperate for the salt of his sweat. The electricity of the taste drove Dean to fuck Seth harder and harder the more he got. All the while, Dean pressed hard against Seth's head with his hands, pushing Seth's face into the floor of the trunk. Dean reveled in the deliciously muffled sound of Seth's moans and the vibration of Seth's body as he rubbed his cock desperately hard against the floor of the trunk.

"You just couldn't fucking wait, could you, you fucking slut," Dean said. "You need this right now, in the trunk of this fucking car. Yeah, you're gonna let me crush you right here, break you into a million fucking pieces. That's what you really need. I'll leave you right out here for those motherfuckers in there to find. They all fucking wanted you but I got you first, and you know that I'm always gonna be the last fucking one. You'll take your last fucking breath with my cum dripping out of you and everyone'll know exactly whose fucking whore you are, forever."

"Yeah, I need you," Seth said. "Hard as you fucking can. Like you're gonna fucking break me in half."

"Oh really," Dean said. "That's what you want?"

"Yeah," Seth said. "Fucking do it."

With that, Dean slammed his cock into Seth as hard as he could. Seth moaned loud – a beautiful, hungry thing . Dean could tell that Seth was so fucking close – hell, he was so close Dean could practically fucking taste it. After a few more hard, crushing thrusts, Seth cried out and Dean felt all the energy twisted inside Seth vibrate out of him and fill the air. Seth's body squeezed tight around Dean and that last intense bit of sensation drew Dean's orgasm from him – so hard that he knew he would have screamed if he hadn't bitten hard into Seth's shoulder. He pulsed deep into Seth until he was spent and dizzy and crushed by the heat inside the trunk.

When Dean opened his eyes, he saw Seth standing in front of the trunk with his gym shorts on, drinking a bottle of water. The sweat on Seth's body glistened beautifully in the sun. Dean pulled his shorts back on, climbed out of the trunk, and stood next to Seth. Now, the heat felt like home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a month – I apologize for the delay. I hope this is worth it, and, as always, I appreciate all of you reading, reviewing, and otherwise letting me know you’re out there. I really love connecting with all of you.
> 
> I feel like this whole story needs this warning, but this chapter especially may be triggering for rape/abuse survivors. There’s also more blood than usual. Stay safe.
> 
> Pretty much all black metal soundtrack for this chapter. Special props to Immortal, Wolves in the Throne Room, and Emperor for the sonic inspiration.
> 
> Enjoy!

After four long days away and a two-hour flight delay, Seth found himself stuck in a middle seat between two strangers, his head whirring with static and chatter, his vision tinted faintly violet. 

“You look nervous,” the elderly woman to his left said just after the plane took off, her words dripping with a syrupy Southern accent. “You don’t fly much, do you?”

Seth laughed. If only she knew. “No, I’m fine with flying. Just kinda had a long couple of days, you know.” he said.

“Oh, what were you doing?” she said.

“My brother was getting married,” he said, his own voice crackling in his head.

“Well, I bet that was fun!” she said. 

“Yeah,” he said, weakly. “Something like that.”

Seth shifted around in his seat, avoiding eye contact, desperately trying to get comfortable, feeling shaky. As soon as the captain said it was okay, Seth put his headphones on and cranked up the heaviest music he had, trying to drown out everything around him and everything in his head.

Four days. The longest he’d been away since they’d been called up – from work, from Dean. Four days wasn’t that long, right? But four days back there, four days with them, no anchor, no quarter – and here he was again.

They hadn’t been so bad, really. Not bad at all. They never were. But beyond all the kindness and the smiles, he felt the distance. Knew he did. 

They never protected him. Maybe didn’t even really fucking believe him. Danny first, then the others. Every time. Kindness and smiles. Keeping up appearances. Always. 

Every time it shattered them, he knew. They didn’t mean any harm. They loved him. It was just too much. He should protect them. And he did, as much as he could, he’d kept to himself. No sense in ruining them, too. But still, he felt cast aside. Shaking and hollow and alone. And on that, it always fed.

“Do you blame them?” he heard, way back in his head, shadowy, though a fog. “They know enough to know that you’re tainted. And while you were gone, I bet he figured it out, too. You can’t escape this. You can’t escape what you are.”

\---  
It was late on Sunday night when Seth finally arrived. Dean waited for him at the airport, having already picked up the car and checked into their room hours before. Seth collapsed into the passenger seat next to Dean – exhausted but just fucking rattling inside now, maddeningly loud. Dean scooped Seth up, pulled him close, lips engulfing his mouth, and a rush of quiet blasted through Seth’s ears, like an airlock opened into deep space. He felt like he could float into Dean – leave the chaos of his body and mind behind – but then it pulled him back, pulled him down. That laughing sound. That fucking cranking sound. It was like a circus in there. He held onto Dean tightly, trying to pull himself out again, get his head above water, eyes blinking, shaking again. Dean pulled away from the kiss, loosened his grip around Seth some, and looked at him gravely.

“You’re not okay,” Dean said. Seth nodded.

“Fuck,” Dean said, his eyes starting to seethe.

“I know,” Seth said. 

Dean held Seth tighter, holding Seth’s head against his shoulder and resting his head on Seth’s. “I should’ve gone,” he said.

“You couldn’t,” Seth said. “I’ll be okay. Let’s go. I just want to get to the fucking room already, you know? We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean said.

\---  
As soon as Seth got into the hotel room, he threw his bags down and growled – a long, frustrated thing. Dean wrapped his arms around Seth, pressed his chest against Seth’s back, and spoke softly.

“Tell me what you need,” Dean said.

Seth flipped around in Dean’s arms, grabbed Dean’s shoulders, and shook him. 

“You don’t need to be gentle with me. You know what I need,” Seth said. “This isn’t any fucking different than any of the other times. It’s just… it’s just fucking more, that’s all. Fuck. Please. I’ve felt like this for like four fucking days. I was so fucking good. I didn’t do anything it wanted, I swear. I’m so fucking tired. I can’t fucking take it. My head is fucking screaming. I can’t hear shit. Just rip it out of me. Please. Rip me apart. Do something. Do fucking everything. Whatever it takes. Until it stops. Please.”

“Everything?” Dean said, his eyes darkening.

“Everything,” Seth said. “Please.”

With a loud grunt, Dean threw Seth against the wall, put his hands around Seth’s neck, and pressed his body hard against Seth’s. The force of hitting the wall vibrated through Seth’s body -- his mind focused sharply and the static cleared, like a radio finding a station. But his vision still tinted violet and he felt that unmistakable sensation still lurking in the back of his mind, gnawing, giggling, agitating every little nerve. 

“Be careful what you beg me for,” Dean said. “Because I will give you fucking everything. I’m not holding back for you.”

“Then do it already. This shit needs to fucking die,” Seth said.

Dean launched into Seth and kissed him crushingly, suffocatingly, hands pressing his neck harder against the wall, starting to squeeze. Seth felt himself start to fill with heat – Dean’s heat, boiling hot, struggling to displace the violence inside him, shooting right down into his rapidly-hardening cock. As it did, Seth heard a loud whine in the back of his head that irresistibly drove him to break away from Dean’s kiss and start slamming the back of his head hard against the wall over and over – a wave of odd pleasure pulsed from the back of his head each time he hit the wall, his body buzzing violet with electricity.

Dean growled as he grabbed Seth’s head with both hands, holding it steady. Seth’s whole body shook with resistance as his head whined louder. 

“Please, make it fucking stop already,” Seth said. “I need to feel something else. Anything else. I don’t care.”

Dean locked his eyes on Seth’s, boring through, and started to shake Seth by the head, gradually softening the whine to a whisper, vibration building in Seth’s cock. He stopped suddenly and tossed Seth onto the bed, still holding Seth’s gaze intensely, his eyes dark and icy.

“Take your clothes off,” Dean said. “Then I’ll fucking kill it.”

Seth stood next to the bed. His hands were shaky and uncooperative as he undressed, but he focused hard and got his clothes off. The fog in his head gathered in his ears, mocking him, drawing his eyes to the glass on the bedside table – daring him.  
“It’s the only way,” he heard through the fog. “Bleed it out.”

The next thing Seth knew, he held a broken, bloody glass in his hand and a dripping cut across his chest. He knew it wasn’t enough. Far from it. Weak. Dean stood in front of him, naked, hard, eyes wide. Dean’s mouth was moving but Seth heard nothing. Suddenly, he felt Dean slap him hard across the face and all of the sound in the room clicked back on.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dean said. “If you’re ever gonna bleed, it’s because I make you. That’s the only fucking time.”

“I need to bleed it out,” Seth said, moving to hand the glass to Dean. “Help me.”

Dean took hold of the glass. “You need me to cut you with this?”

“Please.”

Dean placed Seth on the bed on his back and crouched on top of him, holding the glass.

“Are you sure,” Dean said. “Because I fucking will if that’s what you need, alright?”

“Just fucking do it already,” Seth said. “I need it. So much.”

Seth moaned as he felt the glass cut his skin – a chemical spike of pleasure shot through him, ending quickly. Seth saw down and saw the shallow cut Dean made, barely bleeding. His ears rang.

“Take it all,” he heard his voice say, sounding far away, unfamiliar. “Fucking slit my throat. Bleed every last drop out of me. It’s the only way.”

Seth saw a flash of recognition in Dean’s eyes as they grew wide and crazed. Dean dragged the broken glass down his own chest and opened a dripping gash right down the center of it before setting the glass aside. Seth’s heart jumped at the sight of Dean’s blood. His mind grew sharp again. 

“Yeah, it doesn’t want my blood,” Dean said. “But that’s what it doesn’t fucking get. It’s all my blood now. And it’s not gonna take anymore.”

Dean stared at Seth and breathed deeply for a while, his face softening. Dean picked a bottle of lube off the bed – Seth tried to remember how it had gotten there – and prepared Seth quickly but thoroughly before sliding his cock inside and pressing their bloody chests together. Seth wrapped his arms around Dean and moaned into him, completed and contented, as Dean started to thrust slowly into him. Seth felt some kind of energetic field around both of them, a weird, protective thing, flowing from where their blood connected now. He felt Dean’s breath against his ear – hot and slow now, delicate almost.

“This isn’t the same as before,” Dean said. “But that’s okay. Whatever happens, if you need to feel something else, feel this. Remember this.”

Dean kissed Seth deeply but gently as he continued to thrust into Seth, slow and hard, long, languid beams of pleasure flowing through Seth’s body. Dean’s body rubbed hard against Seth’s cock, and that combined with Dean’s deep thrusts started to build that delicious tension inside Seth, glittering up to his brain. He pulled Dean closer as Dean started to thrust into him faster and harder, each of them moaning into the other’s mouth as the tension inside both of them built to a feverish pace. Seth felt it all explode at once, as if they were one – maybe not at the same time, but close enough -- flame up and dissolve into the air, until only softness remained.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean tried to return his breathing to normal as he lay on top of Seth, still inside. Tension still gripped him despite the release. Seth snored softly beneath him already, looking positively angelic – long eyelashes, beatific grin, curly halo. Dean smiled.

Dean pulled his chest away from Seth first, slowly, careful not to reopen their wounds. Their blood had dried together, fusing their bodies momentarily. Once Dean lifted his chest, he slid out of Seth and rolled softly to his side. Dean's foot hit the broken glass, which still lay on the bed. A shock of rage flowed through him.

Dean picked up the glass and ran his finger along the broken, bloodied edge. He started to shake. In his mind, he drilled the glass into his chest, through his ribs, into his heart. The wound on his chest started to sting.

Dean rolled off the bed and threw his jeans on. He walked onto the patio, still holding the glass, and closed the door quietly behind him, his eyes locked on Seth through the glass. He spun the glass in his hand for a while before tossing it into the hedge below with a loud grunt.

Dean's hands shook so hard that it took nearly all of his concentration to pull a cigarette and his lighter from his pockets, and even more to bring the cigarette to his lips and light it. But when he took that first drag he felt the sweet relief start to melt some of the tension inside him.

He should've done more. The thought of Seth gnawed up inside like that for days, no relief, up there with all of them, where it all began – it was too fucking much. Seth might have forgiven them, but Dean wouldn't. They deserved no protection.

He needed to try harder. There had to be something else he could do. Something to kill this. Something to heal.

He would rip his own heart out. He would rip their hearts out. He would drown the world in their blood. And it still wouldn't be enough.

All he could do was be here.

Dean held what was left of his cigarette in front of his face and studied it. The glowing orange end drew his eyes in and he stared until his eyes blurred into it. He turned his left wrist up and open and drew it up as his right hand drifted down until the tip of the cigarette met the inside of his wrist. Searing pain slowly filled him, but he didn't flinch. Instead, he breathed into the pain, feeling the tension inside him melt away. His hands grew steady and his breathing slowed.

Dean tossed the remnants of his cigarette off the balcony and went inside. He walked to Seth and saw Seth's eyes flutter open and focus on his chest.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Seth said.

"You didn't do anything," Dean said. "It's not your fault."

Seth stood up, wrapped his arms around Dean, pulled him close, and kissed his neck.

"Thank you," Seth said.

They got in the shower together. The heat of the water quickly turned their skin faintly pink and filled the room with steam. It stung Dean's wounds and made them throb in time with his heart – with each beat, he felt a little bit cleaner.

Dean began to soap Seth up, starting with his chest. Dean scrubbed Seth's wounds gently with his fingertips, making Seth groan softly. Seth's dried blood turned the lather faintly pink. Dean rinsed the pink lather away before he continued washing the rest of Seth's body, unable to resist tracing each taut line and gentle curve with his soapy fingertips, moving slickly and easily all over him. His cock stirred and he felt a pulse through it, beating with his heart, throbbing with his stinging wounds. He heard Seth's breathy moans over the crash of the water and felt Seth reach back for him.

"Let me," Seth said.

Seth took the soap from Dean, flipped him around, and washed him, scrubbing softly, stealing kisses – gentle at first, but growing more urgent. When Seth reached the inside of Dean's left wrist, Dean winced, and Seth examined his wrist.

"What'd you do that for?" Seth asked.

"I wanted to," Dean said.

Seth paused and looked longer at Dean's wrist. "I'm sorry," Seth said.

"What are you sorry for?" Dean said.

"I don't know," Seth said.

"That makes two of us," Dean said.

Seth's hand slowly drifted down to Dean's cock and began to stroke it as the water beat down on both of them. Seth pressed his own equally hard cock against Dean's ass, grinding into him as he stroked faster. Dean felt quickly overtaken by Seth's touch. He fell forward against the shower wall and rested his forehead there. The water crashed over his head, drenching him, overcoming his senses. He moaned plaintively as he moved desperately against Seth's fist. He reached back and grabbed Seth's hips, urging Seth harder against him, nails digging into Seth's ass.

"I need to feel you cum," Dean pleaded. "Please don't fucking make me cum before you, alright?"

Seth pressed his cock against Dean as hard as he could, grinding furiously, panting and moaning into Dean's ear. Seth rested his hands against the shower wall and pressed Dean hard against it as he came, shaking against Dean, his cries crashing into the rush of the water. Once Seth's body stopped shaking, his mouth engulfed Dean's and he pumped Dean's cock hard. Dean sucked Seth's tongue and moaned loudly as tension flashed red and exploded out of him, pulsing onto the shower wall, knocking his knees from under him. Seth stood above him, drenched and dripping, oddly godlike. Seth dropped to his knees next to Dean and wriggled his way into Dean's arms.

"I really don't fucking know what I'd do without you," Seth said. "I really don't."


	15. Chapter 15

Seth dreamed that something weighed him down – a massive, screaming thing, heavier than anything he’d ever felt.  This thing was his body now, somehow.  Still, he struggled against it.  As he did, he grew hot.  The heat inside him built steadily until it exploded, engulfing the body in blue flames.  It wailed and cried until it melted into a waxy rainbow puddle.  Seth floated away, weightless and free, a cloud of pure energy.  As he did, he realized he was floating through space.  But when he looked down at the remnants of his body, he saw the remnants of the world shattered into dust.    

When he woke up, the words echoed in his mind – “You are the destroyer.”

 

* * *

 

Seth and Dean sat together in the hotel’s outdoor hot tub drinking cans of Modelo.  It was well after midnight.  The whole pool area was technically closed and definitely deserted.  The night was still except for the faint din of distant traffic and the occasional sound of shifting water. 

Seth lifted his head off Dean’s shoulder and took a long sip of his beer.  He felt his heart beat languorously in his chest.  Dean’s arm stayed looped around Seth as his fingertips continued tracing lazy figure eights into Seth’s left shoulder.  Dean turned his head and took a drag off his cigarette.  Seth’s eyes fixed on a drop of water falling down the vein on the side of Dean’s neck – he licked his lips reflexively as he watched it. 

As Seth leaned back against the edge of the hot tub, the shadow of his dream drifted into his mind again, once again casting a darkness down into the pit of his stomach.  His mind replayed the dream again in fast forward, and at the end he heard his lips murmur “I am the destroyer.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at Seth.  “Huh?” he said.

“Sorry,” Seth said.  “I had this weird fucking dream.  I can’t fucking shake it.”

“Like, what kind of weird?” Dean said.

“I don’t know,” Seth said.  “Like the world was my body and then I fucking broke it or something and floated away, and I keep hearing my head say, like, ‘I am the destroyer.’  So I don’t know.   And now I wonder, like, what’s my head trying to tell me?  Do I destroy shit?  I don’t know.”

Dean took another drag off his cigarette before smiling back at Seth.  “You always dream, like, all this fucking poetic shit,” Dean said, trailing his fingertips down from Seth’s shoulder to his chest.  “I like that.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of a cool dream, I guess, but it’s just been making me feel fucking weird all day,” Seth said.  “Like really, this sounds stupid, I know, but I’m like, do I have some kind of curse or something?  Like, am I going to destroy everything or something?  It’s just this fucking feeling I have. I don’t know.”

Dean stubbed his cigarette out and tossed it aside.  He wrapped both of his arms around Seth, pulled Seth’s back against his chest, and rested his head against Seth’s.  Seth relaxed into Dean and felt something displacing the fog of dread inside him.

“Who says it’s gotta be bad?” Dean said.  “I mean, sometimes you have to destroy old shit to make better shit.  Like, who was that?  Shiva, the creator and the destroyer.  I think that’s like Hindu or something.  Maybe that’s what it means.”

“Yeah, it is.” Seth said.  “I don’t know.  Maybe you’re right.  Just shit makes me feel weird.”

Seth sank into Dean more, breathing him in, the smell of smoke and beer and chlorine and him circling inside Seth, forming a dizzy cloud with the cover of the water and all the heat.  He licked his lips again and ran his teeth along his bottom lip, which only made it crave more sensation.  His lips floated to Dean’s and crashed against them.  Their lips engulfed each other – hot and wet and hungry.  Dean pulled Seth closer, groping his chest roughly before pressing his forearm against Seth’s neck.

“But you like a little destruction anyway.” Dean said.  “Remember what you said to me, that very first fucking time?”

“Yeah,” Seth moaned, all the desperate heat of that moment rushing back into his mind.

“Here’s the thing, though,” Dean said.  “You fucking destroy me, too.  Every time.  You fucking shatter me.  But that’s what I love.  Because I always come back better than I was.”

“Just like me.” Seth said.

“Yeah,” Dean said.

Their lips met again and Seth kissed Dean hard, his tongue exploring the irresistible softness of Dean’s mouth.  Dean pulled back and sucked on Seth’s lips before biting Seth’s bottom lip and pulling it with his teeth.  Dean’s hand snaked down into Seth’s swim trunks and wrapped tightly around the middle of his already desperately hard cock.  Seth gasped at the sudden relief of Dean’s touch as Dean started to slowly pump Seth’s cock.

“That’s right.  That’s what you need.” Dean said, pressing his forearm tighter against Seth’s neck, sending a wonderful shiver through Seth.  “And you’re just gonna let me fucking do it, right now, right here.”

Dean kissed Seth, deep and suffocating, as he gradually started to stroke Seth’s cock faster.  Dean broke the kiss and Seth felt Dean slide down the edge of the hot tub, submerging both of them deeper in the hot tub, until Seth’s mouth dipped under the surface.  Dean held Seth there as he stroked Seth’s cock harder and faster.  Between Dean and the water, Seth felt completely submerged, boiling hot, glittering, and weightless – floating on a river of sensation, ready to burst out to sea.

“Yeah, come on, just float away.  Let it go.” Dean said.  “You’re gonna give me everything.  You’re gonna fucking drown in me.”

Seth’s eyes flashed white as he felt the heat engulf him and explode, shaking, in all directions.  Dean lifted his mouth out of the water and he cried out all the pent-up sound as his release pulsed out of him.  When Seth was finally done, he kissed Dean desperately.

“I need to fucking taste you,” Seth said.  “Please.”

Dean smiled and sat on the edge of the hot tub.  He looked around, lifted his hips, and yanked his swim trunks down, sighing as he released his hard cock from their confines.  Seth felt his mouth water as he moved closer.  He wrapped his lips around the head of Dean’s cock and slowly sucked its length into his throat, both of them moaning with satisfaction.  Seth moved his mouth eagerly up and down Dean’s shaft as his tongue worked the head.  Dean looked down at Seth as bliss started to flood his eyes.  His moans grew low and juicy as Seth’s mouth worked faster and faster, craving Dean’s taste.  Dean started to growl and pulled back suddenly, then started to stroke himself, groaning, into Seth’s waiting mouth, shooting all over Seth’s lips and tongue.  Seth waited until Dean was completely spent before swallowing it all at once, then sucking it off his lips, finally satisfied. 


	16. Chapter 16

Dean shivered. He'd stripped off his soaked shoes, socks, and pants as soon as they'd gotten into the hotel room, but he was still cold. At least he'd had the good sense to stay under the umbrella. Not Seth. Now he was dripping all over the floor. Still, he stared out the glass door, seemingly entranced, watching the rain pour down.

Dean stepped behind Seth, unzipped his drenched hoodie, pulled it off, and threw it to the floor with a loud thud. The sound of the rain crashed low and steady through the room.

"You're gonna fucking freeze if you don't get out of those clothes," Dean said.

"Yeah, I know." Seth said. He didn't move. The wind howled and shook the glass door. Dean took Seth's soaked hat and set it aside. Seth still didn't move. Dean sighed.

Dean waited a moment, then moved to take off Seth's t-shirt. Dean ran his fingertips along Seth's torso, feeling the way the thin, wet fabric clung to Seth, accentuating all of his delicious curves and cut lines. Eventually, Dean's fingers found their way under the shirt's hem and pulled it over Seth's head. Seth's newly-revealed skin felt cold and damp and goosepimpled. Something about it demanded Dean, demanded his mouth, demanded his heat. Dean obliged. He pulled Seth close, and his hot lips devoured the coolness of Seth's skin.

"You know you're fucking stupid, right?" Dean said, smirking as his lips trailed up Seth's neck.

"What?" Seth said.

"I told you to get under the umbrella. But nah, you gotta go play in that cold, pissing rain or whatever it was you were doing," Dean said. He ran his hand along the front of Seth's jeans and found Seth already hard. He raised an eyebrow. "And now you're all wet."

"I like it." Seth said.

"You like what?"

"This rain. It's just – I don't know. Just fucking relentless."

Dean unbuttoned Seth's jeans, slipped his hand inside, and wrapped his fist around Seth's cock. Seth shuddered and whispered a moan filled an energetic urgency that shot straight to Dean's cock. "Relentless?" Dean said.

"Yeah. It's like – I want to drown in it. I want it to crush me. I want to, like, be it. So, I don't know, I let it soak me. It's as close as I can get."

Dean smiled. "That's how much of a slut you are? The fucking rain gets you hard?"

Seth turned his head toward Dean and kissed him, wet and greedy. "Yeah, I guess," he said.

"Take your shoes off," Dean said.

Seth kicked his shoes off. As soon as he did, Dean pushed him face first onto the bed and pulled his jeans and socks off. Dean saw Seth's eyes lock on the glass door again. A loud crash of thunder rocked the room.

"You need that?" Dean said.

"I fucking need something," Seth said.

"You always do," Dean said. "That's why I'm here."

Dean took off the rest of his clothes and climbed onto Seth's back. He felt his heat seeping into Seth's body, Seth's energy flowing back, their breath starting to fuse together, energetic and circular.

"You think that rain is relentless, but it's got nothing on me," Dean whispered, his lips pressed against Seth's ear. "I'm never gonna fucking stop. Not until everything you are is inside of me. I'm gonna fucking devour you. I'm gonna take everything."

"Do it," Seth moaned. "I need it."

Dean growled and bit Seth's shoulder, hard enough to make Seth cry out. The sound and the taste of it - Seth's skin mixed with the faint earthiness of the rain – flooded Dean with craving. Dean kept biting all over Seth's back and shoulders, covering him with angry red marks. Seth's initial cries quickly transformed into deep, begging moans, growing juicier and needier, each one adding another spark to the frenzy growing inside Dean, until, in one explosive motion, Dean flipped Seth onto his back and threw himself on top of him. Their lips met in a hard, sucking kiss, with Dean's tongue claiming Seth's mouth.

"You need to fucking stop that or, I swear to God, there's gonna be nothing left when I'm done," Dean panted as he broke the kiss.

"Fuck, you know I don't care," Seth said. "Just don't fucking stop."

Dean growled, sat up, and clawed down Seth's chest, his head buzzing with electric frenzy and the crashing rain, throbbing straight through his body down to his cock. He eyed Seth's cock and his mouth watered at the sight – he needed to taste Seth, needed to really just fucking consume him the only way he knew how. He dove down and sucked Seth's cock into his mouth, suddenly enough to make Seth gasp. Something about it calmed Dean's mind – that familiar fullness, the steadiness of it all. Dean moved his mouth up and down Seth's cock in a slow rhythm, his tongue snaking along the underside of it and around the head, drawing long, low moans from Seth. Each one vibrated through Dean – it was oddly comforting, he thought. He felt Seth's hips move with him, urging him to take Seth's cock faster and deeper, until Seth finally pulled Dean's head close and came deep into his throat with a guttural scream. Their eyes met, and Seth's still begged.

"I still fucking need you," Seth said. "Please."

Dean straddled Seth's face and pressed his cock against Seth's lips. Seth's lips parted, seemingly begging Dean's cock in.

"Yeah, this is how you fucking want it," Dean said, pushing his cock into Seth's delicious mouth. "You wanna fucking choke on it, don't you?" Seth moaned around Dean's cock as Dean fucked Seth's mouth, the eager softness of it already starting to overwhelm him.

"You wanna drown?" Dean growled as he drove his cock harder and faster into Seth's mouth. "Fuck that rain. This is how you're gonna fucking drown. I'm gonna fill your fucking lungs, just like this. This fucking whore mouth of yours is gonna make me cum until I'm the only thing that's left in you, until whoever fucking finds us doesn't know where I stop and you begin, until they know that this is all fucking mine, always."

With one last thrust, Dean came hard into Seth, groaning and shaking until he was completely spent. He lay down next to Seth and they kissed again, tongues probing for all traces of their combined taste, lulled by the steady crash of the rain.


	17. Chapter 17

In Seth's dream, he was glowing orange and drenched in blood and sweat. His whole body buzzed with something hot and triumphant and irresistible. He eyed the bodies in front of him – drained and lifeless. He needed more.

In an instant, more appeared. A faceless horde. His hands worked like knives. Blood rained from their necks. He glowed brighter. His heart pounded. Every nerve sang like an angel, every cell vibrated to the heavens. He was almost free.

But as he gazed upon the bodies now, their faces materialized – mouths frozen in fearful grimaces, eyes forever begging his mercy. They ripped through him until he dropped to his knees and wailed, pounding the ground, pleading for forgiveness he knew he could never earn.

Still, his body shook, burning hot and greedy and desperate. And faintly, something spoke to him, somehow, wordlessly – violet smoke through his veins, curling around his heart until it beat with purpose and destiny.

Everything went dark.

In the darkness, he felt the warmth of a body against his back, strong arms pulling him in close, hot breath in his ear.

"I'm right here," a voice whispered. "I'm right next to you." It was Dean. Unmistakably Dean.

Seth's heart still pounded in his chest. Dean rested his palm there. Seth started to feel the softness of the bed beneath him.

"You okay?" Dean said.

Seth blinked his eyes open. He still felt the shadow of blood on his skin and the glow of heat inside him.

"Yeah," Seth said.

Dean pulled him in tighter, hands running down his torso.

"You're still shaking," Dean said, his breath tingling through the nerves in Seth's ear, coursing energetically through his body, straight down to his cock. It occurred to Seth that he was hard, almost painfully so. He felt like he must have been for quite some time. Shame blushed through Seth. This seemed to draw Dean's hand like a magnet.

"Must've been good, whatever it was," Dean said, softly stroking up Seth's cock. Seth couldn't help but moan his relief.

"I don't know," Seth said.

"What was it?" Dean said.

"There were all these fucking people," Seth said. "I just couldn't fucking stop. I killed them – my hands just like fucking cut them open. I've got their blood all over me. I was just like, glowing, like I was fucking on fire or something. And I just couldn't get enough. And it kept giving me more. And it just felt so fucking good. Until I saw them. And then I was like, I don't know, I knew I shouldn't have, but I knew I still needed it, like I knew it was what I was supposed to do. And I just… I don't know. I swear I can still fucking feel it all."

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Dean said, trailing his tongue up the side of Seth's neck, up to his earlobe. He sucked it into his mouth and pulled it with his teeth.

"What?" Seth said.

"How do you think I feel when I get my hands around that pretty fucking neck of yours?" Dean said.

Dean's words sent a charge through Seth – fluttering, hot, churning in his belly. He gasped and pressed back against Dean, felt Dean growing hard against him, felt Dean's fist tighten around his cock, stroking slow and hard.

"Yeah, that's all I gotta say. Just those fucking words and your whole body's begging for me again," Dean said. Dean kept stroking Seth hard, his breath growling hot in Seth's ear. As he gradually moved faster, Seth began to writhe against him, letting out a few whimpering moans.

"Did they beg for you?" Dean said. "Or did they beg you to stop?"

Dean's words flew into Seth like sparks, igniting and burning him to the core. "I don't fucking know," Seth said. "I couldn't fucking see them 'til I was done and by then…" Seth swallowed hard. "I can't take this. I need you to fucking stop me."

"Yeah? And how am I gonna do that?" Dean said.

"You know how," Seth said. "You're the only one who knows how to take this shit from me. Fuck. Come on. Just fucking crush me."

Dean growled and, in what felt like an instant, Seth was on his belly, face down in a pillow. Everything blurred together - the drawer opening, cool wetness against his asshole, a slick finger inside, a wet, sloppy sound, and soon Dean was inside him, thrusting, hard and relentless. Something about it made everything slow down, made everything quit shaking for a fucking minute.

"Yeah, you need this. You always fucking need this," Dean panted, thrusting into Seth, clawing at his sides. "You fucking rip me up. You know that? Do you have any fucking idea what you do to me?"

"I'm sorry," Seth said, nearly sobbing. "I don't know what else to do."

Dean yanked Seth up by his hair and snarled at him before slamming his face back into the pillow.

"You don't fucking apologize, alright?" Dean said. "You fucking take what you need. Because I will give you fucking everything. I will fucking pulverize you if that's what it takes. You got that? Yeah?"

"Yeah," Seth moaned, his body vibrating with the force of Dean's thrusts.

"I'll lick every drop of blood off of you," Dean said, his voice low and frenzied. "I'll grind up all the fucking bones. Whatever it fucking takes."

Seth felt Dean start to shake on top of him. Dean growled and rocked Seth with one last, hard thrust before groaning his release deep inside him. As soon as Dean was done, he threw himself off Seth, slid under him, and sucked Seth's cock into his mouth. Dean grabbed Seth's hips, pulled them to his mouth, and gave Seth's ass a hard smack. With that, Seth found himself thrusting into the irresistible warmth of Dean's mouth, easily pressing his cock down into Dean's throat, finding absolutely no resistance. Dean moaned, deliciously muffled, the sound urging Seth harder and harder as Dean dug his fingers hungrily into the flesh of Seth's ass.

All of the churning energy inside Seth built up at his core, vibrating and increasingly desperate. His hands squeezed the sides of Dean's face as he pushed even deeper – even now, nothing in Dean resisted him. He filled Dean with his entire length as he came, hard and shuddering and utterly complete.

Seth slowly pulled his length from Dean's mouth, savoring the last bit of that impossible softness. Once he did, Dean slid up higher, pulled him in, and kissed him with eager sweetness – Seth swore he could feel Dean smiling against his lips.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been way too long. Blame the perils of business ownership and writer’s block. I will do my best to make sure my next update is much sooner. Thanks to all of you who read this, especially all of you who reach out to me. I appreciate the connection I’ve built with all of you and I appreciate your patience with me.
> 
> And yes, I know they don’t live in Florida in real life. But for my purposes, they do.
> 
> Just in time for Payback!
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean shifted in his seat on the airplane, trying to find a position that was remotely comfortable. His stomach churned. It was 11:30 am. He had already been up for at least eight hours. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Seth lifted his eyes from his iPad, and looked over at Dean.

“You alright?” Seth said, the energy in his voice not fitting a man who’d been up as long as he had.

 “Yeah,” Dean groaned. “Just trying to fucking sleep, you know. Still sore from all that shit you made me do at the gym. Why do I get up and go with you again?”

 “I don’t know, man. Maybe you’re crazy as me.”

 Dean laughed. “Gotta be.”

 “Anyway, it’s Wednesday. We’re gonna be home soon. Not like we gotta work tonight.”

 “In like three more hours. Fucking west coast.”

 Seth rubbed Dean’s forearm with his fingertips. “Still.”

 Dean smiled. “Yeah.”

Seth turned back to his reading, still rubbing Dean’s forearm. Dean closed his eyes. Seth’s touch and the plane’s vibration kept a steady rhythm in his mind. He dozed off.

In his mind, they were the only ones on the plane. The vibration stayed steady, but somehow, they were underwater, sinking further and further until they hit ground again.

They were safe here. They could breathe here.

He heard a far away explosion and knew they were alone.

* * *

Dean managed to sleep for most of the rest of the flight. He woke up feeling reasonably rested but spaced-out and mellow.

It was hot and sticky outside when they walked out of the baggage claim. Not that it was unusual for Tampa, but Dean felt the humidity wrap around him like a blanket and he kind of liked it. It felt safe. He put his sunglasses on and put his hand in the crook of Seth’s elbow. Seth leaned his head onto Dean’s shoulder for a few seconds before they walked toward the long-term parking lot.

“I’m fucking hungry,” Seth said when they got in the car.

“Yeah,” Dean said.

Seth plugged his phone into the car stereo and cranked up something loud and chaotic. Dean stared out the window. The sun warmed his face while whatever Seth had on rocked through him. He couldn’t resist playing air drums. Seth laughed and kissed him at a red light.

* * *

They ended up at home with burritos in tow – well, Seth had one without the tortilla. They ate on the sofa. Seth put his legs across Dean’s lap and turned the TV to a Law & Order: SVU rerun. Dean groaned.

“I know, but it’s the only thing on,” Seth said. “And sometimes, I don’t know, I think it’s kinda hot.”

“You would,” Dean said.

Seth laughed. “Please,” he said dismissively.

It was the same apartment where Seth lived the first night they were together. The same sofa he’d thrown Seth off of. The same floor he’d thrown him onto. He was here so much and owned so little that, after a while, it didn’t make sense to keep the other place. They could have afforded better but neither of them saw the point.

When Seth was done eating, he shifted around and rested his head in Dean’s lap. Dean tangled his fingers lazily in Seth’s hair. Seth began to stroke Dean’s cock through his jeans.

Dean smirked down at Seth. “You’re a fucking slut.”

“Yeah?” Seth said. “Are you gonna do something about it?”

“If you don’t stop, I’m gonna have to.”

Undaunted, Seth took the button of Dean’s jeans in his teeth and pulled it open. Already, Dean’s cock stirred, craving the warmth of Seth’s mouth. Seth crawled off the sofa onto the floor between Dean’s legs. Dean lifted his hips as Seth pulled his pants and underwear off. Seth then licked his way up Dean’s hardening cock, meeting Dean’s eyes and looking quite pleased with himself before he sucked Dean’s cock into his mouth.

“You’re a sweet little whore, aren’t you?” Dean said, his voice growing rough with pleasure as Seth’s mouth engulfed his cock. “Probably sitting there the whole way home thinking about how you were gonna get my cock in your mouth.”

Seth moved his mouth up and down Dean’s cock, lips and mouth and tongue working together to envelop Dean in exquisite pleasure. Dean looked down, drank in the eager bliss in Seth’s eyes, admired the gorgeous way Seth’s mouth stretched over him, and moaned approvingly.

“So fucking good, it’s a shame I’m gonna have to ruin you,” Dean said, thrusting his hips up into Seth’s mouth, pushing his cock deep into Seth’s throat. Seth moaned around him, the vibration of it echoing deliciously through Dean’s body. “No, that’s exactly what you fucking want, isn’t it? Want me to destroy this pretty fucking mouth, make you fucking choke.”

Dean grabbed Seth’s head and shoved his cock as far down Seth’s throat as he could, until Seth’s nose pressed against him, and held it there until Seth started to struggle around him. He pushed Seth back off him. Seth gasped for air but his eyes pleaded for more. Dean hopped off the sofa, pushed Seth down onto the floor, and straddled his head. Seth’s eyes were wide and desperate.

“You wanna fucking choke on this?” Dean snarled. Seth said nothing but his lips opened wide. Dean sat back on Seth’s chest and slapped him hard. “Fucking answer me.”

“Yeah,” Seth begged. “Fuck yeah. I need it. Please.”

Dean chuckled darkly. “Good.”

Dean sat on Seth’s chest for a few moments longer before wrapped his hands around Seth’s neck and forcing his cock down Seth’s throat, holding it there for a few seconds before slowly thrusting in and out of Seth’s throat. He felt Seth’s tongue slide along his cock – even with such force, Seth was still eager to please, it seemed.

“Maybe that’s how I’ll do it,” Dean growled, tightening his grip around Seth’s throat. “Right when I’ve had enough of this, right when I start to fill you up, I’ll fucking crush this.”

At those words, Seth moaned loudly around him. He pulled his full length out of Seth’s mouth and pressed his spit-soaked cock against Seth’s cheek.

“Yeah, you fucking liked that, didn’t you?” Dean snarled.

“Yeah,” Seth moaned.

“Make yourself cum to that,” Dean said. When Seth didn’t move immediately, Dean’s voice grew louder. “Come on, take your fucking cock out and do it.”

Seth did as he was told, wrestling his jeans out of the way and taking his own hard, dripping length into his fist and pumping furiously. Dean looked back and watched for a moment before pushing into Seth’s mouth again, his hands gripping Seth’s throat. He drove hard and fast into Seth’s mouth, Seth’s well-trained throat offering no resistance. Seth moaned louder and louder around him, and the intensity of it all quickly drove Dean’s body into a boiling frenzy. He came deep into Seth’s throat, guttural sounds pouring from him, holding himself there for a little while longer before he felt Seth’s body shake beneath him, overtaken by orgasm.

He pulled out of Seth’s mouth slowly, smiling down as he caught his breath. He slid down Seth’s body and took Seth’s cock into his mouth, moaning as he sucked the taste off. Seth sighed back, a dizzy euphoric thing, and Dean couldn’t resist crawling back up to Seth’s face and kissing him sweetly, their arms wrapping around each other, the two of them curling together into a panting, sweaty heap on the floor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who asked me if this story would continue after The Shield’s breakup – here’s your answer. And this time, the update didn’t take six months.
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading this story and connecting with me, and bearing with my extremely slowly updates.
> 
> So much different music for this chapter – most notably, lots of Fugazi, Built to Spill, Brainiac, Deftones, and Bikini Kill. Special mention for Pulp’s “Refuse to be Blind” and David Bowie/Trent Reznor’s “I’m Afraid of Americans.”
> 
> Enjoy!

Seth waited in the locker room at the arena for Dean to finish showering. He was already ready to go, having showered before he put on his suit to get on commentary. He paced restlessly, feeling like some sort of strange electric current flowed through him, getting stronger the longer it had been since his match. If he quit moving, it crackled in his ears, vibrated his body, dotted purple behind his eyelids.

He jumped when he felt Dean’s hand rest between his shoulder blades, something like a shock jolting through him. Dean chuckled, but he didn’t sound surprised. “Kinda jumpy tonight?” he said, rubbing Seth’s back.

“Yeah,” Seth said. “Can’t fucking stop moving.”

“I think I can do something about that,” Dean said.

Seth warmed inside at the suggestion. “Yeah, I guess you can.”

“So, I’ll see you back there in a few,” Dean said. “Don’t take the suit off.”

They left separately – with everything that had happened on screen, it didn’t seem right now to be seen leaving together. The drive to the hotel felt like it took an eternity, everything in his mind seeming to reach a fever pitch all of a sudden. He struggled to resist all of the whispered, distorted suggestions buzzing through the back of his mind – to drive into traffic, to pull the car over and jump off that bridge, to crush this body, suffocate it, let whatever this is be free.

By the time he flopped onto the hotel bed, his mind felt absolutely spent. But his body still had other plans. He couldn’t lie down for long – the relentless pacing had to continue. He wanted to bash his head against the wall and bleed this out. His whole body vibrated. Where was Dean? How long had it been since they’d both left?

He heard the click of Dean’s keycard in the door and felt Dean’s arms around him in what felt like an instant, almost like Dean had materialized there.

“You’re shaking,” Dean said. “It’s that bad?”

“Yeah,” Seth said. Something was whirring in his head, growing louder and louder the longer Dean held him.

“You should’ve said something. Not like fucking driven like that”

“I know,” Seth said, struggling to hear himself over the noise in his head. “But, fuck, I don’t know, it wasn’t, and then… you know, I just.. I just wanted to get back here and – I don’t know.” He growled his frustration and tried to bring his hands up to tear at his hair, but Dean’s arms were in the way. “Fuck, come on, I .. I just need to.. I don’t know… fucking get my mind off this, get away from this fucking body… you know how it is... you know what I fucking need...”

At that, Dean let Seth’s arms go and shoved Seth face-first onto the bed, bent over the edge. He threw himself onto Seth’s back. Dean’s breath sounded like an ocean in his ear.

“So, I’ll tell you what I wanna do,” Dean said. He planted a few hard, sucking kisses on Seth’s neck. “I wanna rip this fucking suit off you, tear your fucking body up ‘til you’re bleeding all over this bed, wrap your belt around that pretty fucking neck of yours and pull it ‘til you quit fucking breathing.” He pulled Seth’s earlobe with his teeth. “Is that what you fucking need?”

Dean’s presence and his words coursed through Seth, bringing every disjointed, shadowy thing jangling inside of him into laser focus, the whole mass of it seeming to shoot straight to his cock. “Yeah, please, come on,” he pleaded. “I need you so fucking bad right now.”

Dean reached around Seth and squeezed Seth’s rapidly-hardening cock through his thin slacks. Seth gasped at the sudden sensation. Dean laughed.

“You’re real fucking easy, aren’t you?” Dean said.

Seth let out a lusty whine, and Dean stood up. He yanked Seth’s jacket down until it dangled off Seth’s wrists. He reached under Seth and pulled the buttons of his shirt open, managing to pop off a couple of them in the process, and tugged the shirt down to Seth’s wrists – the jacket and shirt held Seth’s hands behind his back in a sort of loose makeshift bondage.   Seth moved his arms against it, testing the limits. There was something oddly comforting about the restraint, he found. He relaxed into it and nuzzled his face into the bed.

“You like that? Guess this tight fucking suit’s good for something, right?” Dean said. “Other than making everyone look at that slutty little ass of yours.”

Before Seth could even consider responding, he felt Dean’s teeth sink into his shoulder. Seth cried out, more from surprise than pain. Dean bit erratically all over Seth’s upper back and shoulders. Each bite felt better than the next as the initial shock faded into a warm, dull sort of pain that made everything feel fuzzy at the edges.

“You think they know?” Dean rasped into Seth’s ear. “All those fuckers who watch on TV. Everyone who sees you in this fuckig suit, acting like some kind of smug asshole. You think they have any idea what kind of whore you really are? The kind of shit you beg me for every fucking night?”

Dean grabbed Seth’s cock again through his pants and laughed – Seth assumed at how obviously hard it was, straining against the fabric of his pants, and feeling like it was pleading for Dean’s attention. Dean unfastened Seth’s belt and pants and pulled Seth’s pants and underwear down to his knees.

“You want ‘em to know? You want ‘em to know how you beg me to crush your fucking throat? That nothing else fucking satisfies your insatiable ass?”

“Yeah, please,” Seth pleaded.

Dean pulled Seth’s belt out of his belt loops and wrapped it around Seth’s neck, the cool metal buckle against the front of Seth’s throat. Just the sensation of the buckle against his throat filled Seth with a roaring need and an immense pleasure.

This need and pleasure so occupied Seth’s mind that he barely noticed Dean preparing him for what would come next. He soon felt Dean’s cock slowly slide into his ass, stretching him open inch by inch. As Dean opened him up, Dean pulled Seth’s head off the bed using the belt. The squeezing around his throat only fueled the thick cloud of needy pleasure growing inside him, engulfing his consciousness with violet smoke.

“Is this how you want ‘em to find you? “ Dean growled as he thrust hard into Seth. “All wrapped up in your fucking suit, bent over like a slut, throat crushed with your own fucking belt, ass full of my cum. Because they’ll sure fucking know then, won’t they?”

“Yeah, fuck yeah,” Seth moaned, each hard thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body. “I want ‘em to know I’m your fucking whore. Fucking show ‘em. Do it. Please. Don’t fucking stop.”

As Seth’s words grew more intense, so did Dean’s thrusts. Seth pressed his hips into the mattress, desperate for some sensation on his needy cock. Once Seth quit speaking, Dean let go of the belt, much to Seth’s initial disappointment, and grabbed under Seth’s chin. Dean’s mouth engulfed Seth’s in a suffocating kiss – which, right now, felt just as good to Seth as the belt -- lips and tongues crashing together greedily, each moaning into the other’s mouth.

Dean wrapped his other hand around Seth’s cock and stroked it fast. The much-needed attention quickly brought the cloud of pleasure that rapidly overwhelmed his body to boiling. After only a few strokes, he came hard all over Dean’s fist, possessed by a blinding flash of light, shaking all over into a floating, other-worldly calm. His lips finally broke from Dean’s and Dean set Seth’s head down on the bed. Dean continued thrusting, groaning loudly, nails digging into Seth’s hips, until his own orgasm overtook him.

They lay in a panting heap for a few minutes longer, until Dean slowly pulled out of Seth. Dean gently removed the belt from around Seth’s neck and carefully helped Seth out of the rest of his clothes. Seth scooted up so his whole body was on the bed, and Dean lay back down next to Seth, their arms and legs quickly draping together. Seth couldn’t help but smile.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there is a method to my madness. Or a madness to my method. 
> 
> Plotted along with the previous chapter, written to basically the entire Deftones discography while drinking a giant homemade margarita (recipe available upon request).
> 
> Dean’s got The Beatles stuck in his head. How very Chris Jericho.
> 
> Along with the usual stuff, angst/self-harm/burning below.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me in all my boringness and all my writers block and all my weirdness.
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean could hear Seth’s breathing slowing, could see the blissed-out smile crossing Seth’s face. But Dean’s heart kept pounding. His chest stayed tight. His head sounded like a broken carnival.  He needed to jump out of his skin and run away before it crushed him. 

_Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time._

It took every ounce of concentration he could muster to stay still. Seth couldn’t know about this. Everything was fine. If he just lay here, listened to Seth breathing, felt the warmth of Seth’s body (the only thing that made his own body feel remotely okay right now), this would pass. This would pass. 

When he was a kid, he found a box of matches. He took it to his room and lit each of them one by one, his eyes blurring as he watched the colors, seeing how long each one would burn. He liked the ones that burned down to his fingers, the flames that licked his fingertips, that shut down every thought, that made him grit his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut and hold his breath until they finally went out. 

He felt Seth slowly untangle their limbs and slide off the bed toward the bathroom, smiling sheepishly. Without the weight and warmth of Seth’s body, he felt like he was going to vibrate off the bed. How was he going to stop this?

He heard the shower start and made his way off the bed, feet testing the floor tentatively before he stood up shakily. He dug in his bag and found a crushed pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a half-empty fifth of whiskey. Worth a shot.

He chugged a little over half of what was left in the bottle, slipped his pants back on, and headed out onto the balcony, settling into the shitty plastic chair out there, spinning warmth starting to swirl around his mind.

Seth told him not to stop. And he stopped. His head had flashed with the thought of Seth pale and quiet, that fucking belt still around his neck. And his lips begged Seth’s for mercy. His eyes flashed.

He fumbled with the pack of cigarettes, shaky hands finally managing to pull one out of the pack and even shakier hands managing to light it. He took a drag, eyed the burning end, took another drag. It felt good. But everything was too loud. And it was only that swirling dizzy warmth that kept him in the chair.

He remembered the weight on top of him – crushing comfort. The coppery taste of blood in his mouth. He’d asked for it. Breathing deep as the thick cock stretched him – the only one that ever had. Everything went quiet. Everything was light, everything floated out of him. He’d nuzzled his face into the futon.

But he’d keep it all if it meant Seth never felt it again.

But Seth still felt it.

Fucking worthless.

He took another drag. It didn’t help.

He eyed the burning end of his cigarette.

_Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time._

He stubbed the cigarette out on his forearm. Pain glittered through him, made him smile, made his cock twitch. He tossed the cigarette aside. The tight knot in his stomach turned into a flutter.

He picked up his lighter, flicked it on, stared at the flame. He bit his lip, licked it, sucked on it, shifted in the chair as his cock throbbed.

He imagined his whole body burning, melting away like wax, making a puddle among the stars.

He brought the lighter’s flame to his forearm and moaned at its touch, the sensation heady and glittering. Was this getting him hard? He didn’t hear the glass door slide open.

“The fuck are you doing?” Seth said.

Dean dropped the lighter. “I don’t know.. I just.. I… I can’t fucking get rid of it.”

“Come in,” Seth said. “Get in bed. I’ll make you feel better.   I promise.“

Dean looked into Seth’s eyes and the sincerity in them made him tear up just a little. He stood up – dizzily, shakily – and staggered into the hotel room. He took off his clothes and got into bed. He curled up on his side.   Seth climbed in on the other side, naked, and curled against his back, reaching between his legs for his hardening cock.

“I’m a little much, baby, I know,” Seth said, starting to stroke Dean’s cock. “I got what I needed. Let me help you. Tell me what you need.”

“Fuck, I don’t know, I just…” Dean said, turning his head toward Seth’s and kissing him hard. He pushed his hips into Seth’s fist. “I think I… shit… I think… I need you to fuck me. I need you to take this. Please. I’m sorry. It’s too fucking much. It’s too fucking heavy.”

“You need me to fuck you?” Seth said.

“Yeah. Please.” Dean said. “Just like, fucking pulverize me. Until I can’t feel anything else.”

“I’ll try,” Seth said. Seth got out of bed and came back with their bottle of lube. He pushed one slick finger into Dean’s ass. Dean hissed and moaned until muscle memory kicked in and he relaxed.

“More… please..” Dean pleaded.

Seth pushed another finger inside, making Dean moan and buck his hips back against him.

“Like that?” Seth said.

“Yeah. More. Come on,” Dean said. “Just fuck me already. I don’t care if it hurts. I want it to hurt.”

Seth pushed his fingers up harder, curling them upward. Dean gasped at the shock of pleasure that shot through him.

“You wanna get up on your knees?” Seth said.

“Yeah,” Dean said.

Dean got on his hands and knees. He felt the tip of Seth’s slick cock press against his asshole. “Come on, just fucking do it already,” he begged.

Seth shoved his cock inside, stretching Dean fast, burning deliciously. “Yeah, just like that,” Dean moaned. “Shit. Just like that. Fucking give it to me.”

Seth began thrusting in and out of Dean’s ass, moaning into Dean’s ear, his breath hot and wild. His hand wrapped around Dean’s cock and started stroking. “Like that?” Seth said.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Go fucking hard. Like you like it.”

At Dean’s words, Seth thrust even harder, the pleasure of it all absolutely consuming Dean’s mind, focusing him on nothing but the incredible feeling coursing through his nerves. Before long, it exploded out of him, fire burning bright behind his squeezing eyelids, guttural sounds pouring from him, cum shooting all over Seth’s fist. He felt Seth’s arms wrap around him, felt Seth push impossibly fucking hard inside him, growling as he filled him.

Everything slowed.

And finally, for once, everything felt light.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s like an Ambrollins renaissance all over this fandom. I’m down. This feud is amazing – just like all of you who take the time to read this.
> 
> Plotted mostly over a drive from Dallas to Austin. Tons of different music, mostly of the jagged and angular variety, played into the writing of this chapter, so much that it’s hard to pick what to mention. But if I had to pick, the music I’m feeling the most for this chapter is Brainiac, most notably “I Am A Cracked Machine.” Some honorable mentions to Bikini Kill, Gang of Four (especially “Damaged Goods”), Shellac (“Dog and Pony Show”), Fugazi (always Fugazi), Seven Year Bitch, and Babes in Toyland.
> 
> Enjoy!

Seth slouched back in his chair and stared over the balcony rail. To his unfocused eyes, the lights shining into the hotel pool looked like cloudy UFOs. He didn’t bother trying to refocus them – it would be no use. It was hours past midnight and he and Dean had just about finished off the fifth of bourbon they’d been passing between them. Banter and drunken tangents had now devolved into a heavy, energetic silence.

Seth’s skin felt flushed and damp all over. He didn’t know how much of it was the liquor and how much of it was the summer humidity. What little clothing he still wore – only a pair of gym shorts, just like Dean – felt unbearably heavy, but otherwise, the heat felt more comforting than oppressive, an appropriate complement to the heady daze that slowed the world around him into something languorously manageable.

He swallowed slowly, rolled his neck, and traced his tongue along his teeth. He licked his lips and drew lazy circles along his bottom lip with his fingertip. He found himself sucking that finger into his mouth, then a second, then a third, trying to fill a need he hadn’t realized he had just then, a twinge of heat and vibration between his legs urging him on.   

He gazed over at Dean – a blurry cloud of eyes and faintly-glistening skin, those fucking eyes, piercing now even out of focus, and a smirk Seth felt more than saw. His mouth watered. He rubbed his fingers up and down his tongue, tasting salt and sour and skin. The twinge was becoming a steady buzz. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth and ran his hand down his face. He felt suddenly, exasperatingly empty.

He stumbled out of his chair and straddled Dean’s lap, falling forward against him. His head nearly slammed into Dean’s before their lips met in a sloppy mess of a kiss, all hunger and no precision, tongues working loosely. Seth ended up just sucking on Dean’s tongue, moaning needily, hips grinding against Dean’s growing bulge. Suddenly, Dean pulled his mouth away, and Seth let out an automatic whine. 

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Dean slurred. “I know you don’t just wanna suck on my fucking tongue all night.” 

“I don’t know, I fucking want something,” Seth said, still grinding against Dean, nails digging into Dean’s arms as he tried to keep himself steady. “Fucking shove your cock down my throat. Whatever you fucking want. I need it.”

“You’re too fucking good,” Dean said. “One of these days you’re gonna make me pay.” 

“What?” Seth said, frustration growing in his voice. 

Dean sighed. “If you want it, get down there.” 

Seth slid down onto his knees between Dean’s legs, his head spinning. Dean lifted his hips and moved his shorts out of the way. Seth eagerly swallowed as much of Dean’s length as he could and began sliding his mouth up and down it, moaning contently, feeling deliciously, perfectly filled – even more so when he felt Dean’s hips move against his face, pressing even deeper. 

“Always such a sweet fucking whore,” Dean muttered. “Just fucking take it so good. But one day I’m gonna give you too fucking much. You’re gonna fucking snap on me.”

He grabbed the back of Seth’s head and shoved his cock hard down Seth’s throat, with enough unexpected force to make Seth gag. He held his cock there, deep enough so that Seth was barely able to breathe. 

“Is it gonna be tonight? When I choke you with my cock out here for anyone to see?” 

Dean pulled his cock all the way out, leaving Seth panting and suddenly empty. His vision clouded red as his eyes met Dean’s. 

Dean’s words were slow and deliberate. “Make me fucking pay.”

 A crimson cloud of electricity sparked around Seth’s brain. He shot to his feet and, almost before he realized it, slugged Dean in the jaw. Pure bliss flashed in Dean’s eyes.

 “Is that all you got?” Dean said.

  _You are the destroyer._

Seth unleashed a swirl of dizzy punches, connecting all over Dean’s face and chest. Dean started to laugh – cackled, really – but otherwise remained motionless. Seth felt like he had sand under his skin.

 “Fight back,” Seth snarled. He saw some blood dipping from Dean’s mouth and his brain hummed. Dean stood up and stared at him, a vaguely maniacal grin crossing his face. Finally, Dean slapped him – an open fucking slap, a weak one at that. Seth punched back as hard as he could, fist cracking against Dean’s face, spilling fresh blood from Dean’s mouth. Dean grabbed Seth and kissed him hard, filling Seth’s mouth with the taste of blood, electric charged and gorgeous. He kissed back deeply, trying to lap up the taste. Dean pulled away.

“Let’s get inside,” Dean said. 

They staggered to the glass door and Dean pulled the door open. Seth followed Dean inside and managed to trip on his way in and fall forward. He broke his fall with his hands and rolled to his back. The sudden coolness of the air-conditioned hotel room gave him goosebumps.

Soon, Seth felt Dean was on top of him, the force of his weight sudden and wonderfully crushing. Dean was naked now, face down, legs toward Seth’s head, tugging Seth’s shorts down. He gasped when he felt Dean’s mouth engulf his cock. He pushed his hips up into Dean’s mouth and Dean moaned approvingly. With a bit of wriggling, he was able to position himself just right to take Dean’s cock into his mouth at the same time.

Seth fucked hard up into Dean’s mouth as Dean pressed into his, Seth’s hands pulling Dean’s hips into his mouth, desperate for more. Seth’s hips and mouth soon found a rhythm with Dean’s and they moved in tandem -- a storm of choked, gasping moans and sweaty hips thrusting deep, all working toward what felt like the goal of a singular release.

Seth almost forgot where his pleasure ended and Dean’s began until he felt all the needy tension inside of him shake out of his body into Dean’s mouth – if it wasn’t for Dean’s weight on top of him, he thought he might float away. He felt Dean push deep into his mouth, groaning out his own release, filling Seth with his taste. They rolled together onto their sides, curled together in dizzy, spent perfection.

           

 

           

 

           

           

 

 

 

           

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [All Roads](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181307) by [mxjoyride](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxjoyride/pseuds/mxjoyride)




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